Strong Desire to Attend Mass, But Not Catholic

[Always_For_Him]

That’s OK… honestly I have entertained the thought of writing a book, not based on recent events, but on my life in general.

I actually wrote that you need to write a book, but then erased it because I didn’t know if it would be the right thing to say. Your story is so captivating from what you have shared with us so far. The connection between the nuns of your childhood, your struggles, your schooling, to where you are now and how you are reconnecting to those that brought God into your life and HOW you are so open and receptive to God’s will and plan for you. We all need that connection. It is uplifting to see God working in your life when He is so quiet in ours right now. I see a beautiful story that would make for a great book.

Your ability to speak well will help you when that book comes out!!! Then you will have the chance to perfect your public speaking when that book is made into a movie!!!

As your life normalizes, you will have plenty of time to give back to God. Meals on Wheels is a great chance to help. Maybe the parish you are attending has a scheduled day to work at the soup kitchen. If not, that would be a great way to help others on your own. Sometimes, we visit the convelesent home. If you don’t want to wait until your holiday, you can look into these things to help with. They don’t take too much time, but are a great way to fit helping into your schedule.

Just keep praying for your friend. If you never speak to her again, God will know your heart, and that you have done the right thing. Right now, she is not in the position to help you go where God wants you to go. I am glad to see that you are following God’s plans for you and not ignoring Him for her.

When you come from a place of love and acceptance, you will treat people with love and acceptance. That is what we all need. The sisters have treated you like God expects us to treat one another. Why would they be angry with you? You needed help when you were a child, and they, through God’s design, helped you. People move on. They know that. I think they are thankful that you have come back to them and their Church the way you have. What a gift. God is working through you as well. His grace is abound here!!! Just think of how they feel after all these years to learn of how they helped you and to see the woman you are now, AND to see that you are coming home to Christ’s Church. Their prayers are being answered, and they actually get to witness them being answered!!! God works in mysterious ways. It is just beautiful.

I commend you on your tenacity. If we all could be so brave and willing.

Have a great day!!!

 

[Always_For_Him]

I was discouraged by my one friend (the one who is no longer speaking to me) from contacting people in my past. She thought it was a bit odd and told me so. But I’ve had nothing but positive experiences so far from doing it. And even if I have a negative experience in future it doesn’t negate the benefits I’ve already received. I highly recommend it.

Right on sista!!! You have a great head on your shoulders. Why would it be odd to contact people from your past? Why? There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being appreciative of others and wanting to tell them so. Those people helped you in the greatest of ways. It is never wrong to seek someone out to say thank you, especially in this situation. I don’t think there is a statute of limitations on that. Your friend is in a place where she can’t see it right now, but even back then, people helped her too. We have to be able to be thankful for anyone who has helped us along the way. It seems that she is not in a positive, loving, thankful place. When you are closed to God, you become selfish and non-appreciative. She is not in a very good place. She needed you to stay in that place with her. I am SO glad that you listened to God and are following His plans for you instead and GOT OUT of that place.

We all have people who have helped us throughout our lives. The neighbor that was always understanding and helpful, to the great teacher that helped us to believe in ourselves when we were losing confidence, to the stern, bossy lady across the street that kept us in line, to nuns who showed us love and were good role models for us… I could go on, but you get the idea. We are supposed to be thankful of anyone’s work for us, and we are supposed to give back. We are all in this world together and were NOT put here to only be concerned with ourselves. Just keep praying for her.

 

[Always_For_Him]

LH, grandfather and po18guy, your posts were beautiful!!! What perfect responses. I really needed to read them today. Thank you.

 

[FromTheAshes777]

Wow. I’m overwhelmed and touched by all the positive responses! I should have expected as much on a Catholic forum but honestly I thought there would be at least one person here saying I was out to lunch. I suppose though that attitude comes from surrounding myself with non-religious people for several years. In my circle of friends and acquaintances, any so-called spiritual experiences are generally associated with an overactive imagination and/or insanity.

In any event, I never expected so many positive responses and so quickly; I really appreciate it. Its certainly made my decision to attend mass far easier.

Before I comment individually on all your posts, I want to share a brief update, because I think its quite remarkable…

Since I moved to this neighbourhood a couple of months back, I’ve frequented a nearby coffee shop and take walks in a nearby park. In both the park and the coffee shop, I often see the same older man, also walking or having a coffee. After a few times of seeing each other he started saying hello to me, and we’ve had some brief general conversations, such as discussing the weather. This morning I saw him in his car, and he waved to me and smiled so I waved back. He seems like a very nice man, and the only “stranger” I’ve had any contact with in this neighbourhood thus far…

This morning I was thinking about mass again so I went online and found the church’s website. I thought I would read a bit about the parish itself in an attempt to feel more comfortable to attend. Well, when I clicked on the priest’s page, guess whose picture was staring back at me!! I almost passed out. Its still jacket weather here, so I guess I never really noticed a collar… though in retrospect he does always wear black… just never thought anything of it… but wow!! Seriously, what are the odds that the one and only person in this neighbourhood who has befriended me is the priest of the parish I’ve been thinking about attending?? I am floored…

Praise God

 

[grandfather]

The problem with writing a book now is, although the story is an interesting one so far, it is still much too early. You are only getting to the best chapters.

 

[Always_For_Him]

The problem with writing a book now is, although the story is an interesting one so far, it is still much too early. You are only getting to the best chapters.

You are right. It is not time. I would probably begin by writing about what has happened so far. Then as more happens, add that, and then go back into the story to add details. This thing definitely would be a work in progress, going back and forth to keep adding details. See, Judith, we are already helping you!!! (OK, I don’t know if it is help or not, but there you have it.!!!

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Wow thanks so much for all the wonderful responses. I need to come back a little later to respond, but I am on my way out the door in a few minutes and won’t have time. I will mention quickly though, I was able to attend mass yesterday afterall… at another church which I discovered close to my work. I attended over my lunch hour. I had another new experience at this church… after the mass the priest took out a large golden sun on a stand, and placed a wafer in the centre of it, where there was this little glass window. There was a small service, some singing in what I assume was Latin, and incense (which smelled really fantastic!). The whole thing wasvery fascinating to me. Later on I found out it was Eucharistic adoration, which this church has every Friday. I really enjoyed it so I’m hoping to attend again next Friday.

 

[cdanison]

Wow thanks so much for all the wonderful responses. I need to come back a little later to respond, but I am on my way out the door in a few minutes and won’t have time. I will mention quickly though, I was able to attend mass yesterday afterall… at another church which I discovered close to my work. I attended over my lunch hour. I had another new experience at this church… after the mass the priest took out a large golden sun on a stand, and placed a wafer in the centre of it, where there was this little glass window. There was a small service, some singing in what I assume was Latin, and incense (which smelled really fantastic!). The whole thing wasvery fascinating to me. Later on I found out it was Eucharistic adoration, which this church has every Friday. I really enjoyed it so I’m hoping to attend again next Friday.

By all means, attend Eucharistic Adoration. It is so peaceful to sit in the presence of the Eucharist, to pray, to contemplate God’s presence,
to be in a Holy place. How wonderful that it is a weekly adoration. My church has it once a month. It puts everything in a clear perspective for me.

Susan, I have seen God’a love for you since you first told us about your feelings. It has been such a blessing. I am a convert from 2004 and know so many beautiful things that have happened to me since then. It has been such a spiritual journey. I am 71, and wish I had been led to the Catholic church a long time ago. I went to so many Protestant churches, but was never so enthusiastic as when I came “home”. My Catholic faith is so wonderful. I feel so much closer to God.

God Bless you, My prayers are being added to all those before me.

 

[luminoushope]

I am a convert from 2004 and know so many beautiful things that have happened to me since then. It has been such a spiritual journey. I am 71, and wish I had been led to the Catholic church a long time ago. I went to so many Protestant churches, but was never so enthusiastic as when I came “home”. My Catholic faith is so wonderful. I feel so much closer to God.

God Bless you, My prayers are being added to all those before me.

Greetings All, CDanison, I echo everything you said, including about Eucharistic Adoration. I wish I could be as concise as you are. If you read my post you will know that my 60th birthday is looming and I’m not even officially a Catholic yet, though I think I have a Catholic heart. It will be so wonderful to have the Sacraments. I was in Protestant churches for 27 years and circled the Catholic Church for perhaps 15 of those years, in ever smaller circles. I sometimes wish I were doing this at a younger age, but can’t help thinking that God’s timing is always perfect and perhaps He waited to push me really hard, until He knew my husband, who doesn’t plan to become a Catholic, was ready for me to enter into this huge change.

I think whenever we come to Faith is when we come to the Faith and it must be the right time. CB Danison and all, the best is yet to be!

Grace and peace to all,

Luminous Hope (this name expresses how I feel about becoming a Catholic)

 

[po18guy]

Wow thanks so much for all the wonderful responses. I need to come back a little later to respond, but I am on my way out the door in a few minutes and won’t have time. I will mention quickly though, I was able to attend mass yesterday afterall… at another church which I discovered close to my work. I attended over my lunch hour. I had another new experience at this church… after the mass the priest took out a large golden sun on a stand, and placed a wafer in the centre of it, where there was this little glass window. There was a small service, some singing in what I assume was Latin, and incense (which smelled really fantastic!). The whole thing wasvery fascinating to me. Later on I found out it was Eucharistic adoration, which this church has every Friday. I really enjoyed it so I’m hoping to attend again next Friday.

This will possibly be hard to accept at first, but, as in each mass, you were in the presence of Christ. Once the unleavened bread is consecrated by the priest, it becomes the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord. This is based upon the scripture and church tradition surrounding the Last Supper (Matthew 26:26-29). Eucharistic adoration is the most underutilized devotion in the Church. To spend time in the Lord’s presence, allowing Him to speak to your heart in silence is a wonderful blessing.

The Eucharist fleshes out Jesus’ words in the Gospel of Matthew 28:20, “Behold, I am with you, even to the end of the age.” This was His last statement before He ascended to the Father. Believing that the Eucharist is actually Christ made present to us is essential to our faith.

What an adventure you are on. Thank You, Lord!

May His peace be with you.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

withwind:

if you can’t attend mass today, you can certainly spend 1 minute praying that you will spiritually join others in celebrating the Eucharist and ask the Lord to come to you spiritually. The Lord will grant you your requests beyond our understanding.

luminoushope:

You might enjoy praying this prayer when you can’t get to Mass. It’s called the… Act of Spiritual Communion

Oh interesting thanks. I had no idea I could pray as if I were with the people at mass, and that there was an actual prayer! I’m going to try that on Monday, as I definitely can’t attend mass that day.

luminoushope:

I have a story about that. I have been married for 25 years in my second marriage. My first marriage was to my college sweetheart, when I was 19, and lasted less than a year. Thirteen years passed before I remarried–I’m now 59. The Catholic Church does not recognize divorce so in order to have the Sacraments I must petition for a decree of nullity (annulment). This is very detailed and is to determine whether the prior marriage was a valid marriage to the Church. The priest says it is most likely my petition will be granted, but I had to try to find my ex-husband. I had had no contact with him for 40 years and didn’t know if he was even still living. After searching on the internet I found a business site that I thought might be his. My HUSBAND encouraged me to email this person, saying I had to try to go foward. I did, explaining why I was writing and asking him to contact me and let me know if I had to go on searching. The next morning, I received an email with the subject line reading “Yes, it’s me.” You could have knocked me over with a feather. My ex is being very kind and helpful and says he will cooperate with the inquiry. Neither of us had any religion in our life back then and he still doesn’t. He said he couldn’t understand why it was such a big deal and I wrote back that I’m glad the CatholicChurch takes marriage seriously. I pray that he will develop at least some curiosity about the faith as the procedure continues. I see this, along with my conversion, as throwing a rock into a pond and seeing the ripples in the water. Perhaps your experience is like this also. Your relationship with your one friend is a difficult ripple, but God is sovereign over all of it, and has her best interests at heart as well as yours.

Thank you for sharing your story. I’m glad you had such a good experience with contacting your ex. I’m sure God had a hand in it… its fantastic he was so cooperative, and that you were able to find him at all. And yes, who knows, maybe he will convert also! I certainly hope that is the case with my friend, though I’m not holding my breath at this point.

chewchoo:

LH - thank you for your story, and thank you to Susan and the others who have also posted their stories here. there have also been many other conversion stories here on the forums, one of the most dramatic was Agnostic/Ag_Not (search for the weirdsville threads).

Thanks for telling me about that other story, I will definitely be looking that person up and reading it. Regarding my own story… your welcome, though I honestly never intended to share as much as I did. I thought I would just get an answer regarding attending mass as a non-Catholic, and then leave the forum. I am not a fan of forums in general. But maybe its true as you say, that God directs individuals here. It certainly seems so in my case.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

There will be ups and down, and probably even days when you don’t feel like going. Though I have to say that I’ve been Catholic for a bit less than two years, and went to Mass at least weekly for the year and a half before that, and I still mark time throughout the week by which days I get to go to Mass. The daily Mass schedule is different on certain days, so more people can go sometimes, but not everybody can go every time

Its good to know you are still enjoying mass as much as you are a couple of years later. I hope that’s the case with me too. And considering there are several churches here, with a large selection of different mass times available, I may be able to attend daily with some careful planning. Tomorrow is definitely out as I need to be at work very early, but I think the rest of the week I can attend daily.

EvelynEVF:

Anyway, this isn’t like a human relationship, where once you know each other for a while, you settle into a routine and have to be careful to keep things interesting at times. God is so big that the honeymoon period could theoretically last forever, if it wouldn’t burn out our little human hearts!

That’s good to know also. I was kind of wondering if it was like that, with a honeymoon period of sorts. I’m not naive; I assume there will be dry points. Though honestly, considering my personality (my friends nicknamed me Spock), I’m not sure a period of “emotional dryness” will bother me. In any event I am very interested in all aspects of Catholicism, there seems such a vast amount to be learned. I think I will be occupied for a long time to come, learning, searching and so on. I am a scientist afterall, and lifelong learning and investigating is something I really love.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

After that things will “calm down” but you’ll find that rather than boredom you’ll be gaining greater clarity than when things started out. You’ll also be able to go deeper into a lot of things you want to know and just keep growing in that love.

That’s fantastic! It’s what I’m hoping for.

Liraco:

I second you turning this whole thing into a book but I think it’s not yet the time to do so. Why? There’s still a lot of interesting parts left to “write” in your story and I wouldn’t think it fair to leave your readers hanging like that.

Yes I agree. Everything is still unfolding. And in any event, I currently have no time to sit down and write a book with my full time job; I barely have enough time to go to mass or come on here to reply… I have an extremely busy life and everything has to be crammed in. I’ve been writing memoirs for several years, and I’ve had several ongoing journals and diaries (and still am writing, in my spare time) so once I am ready I will have lots of material to work with.

Liraco:

Just enjoy and take in all that’s happening now.

Yes that’s what I’m trying to do at the moment. Just watching how things unfold and enjoying all of it as much as I can. Thanks for reinforcing for me that I am doing the right thing.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

It never wears off, but it changes. You are in what is sometimes called the honeymoon period. It is all bliss. God pours out His blessings on a soul and then withholds them. All the saints went through “dry” periods. Mother Teresa’s may have been the longest ever. We go from consolation to desolation and back again. There is a reason for it. We all are on a spiritual journey. The journey changes us. Change sometimes is easy and sometimes difficult. We like to spiritually stay in the same place, where we are comfortable, where we find comfort, the oasis, and not get up and move out into the hot desert. Spiritual growth is impossible without growing pains. God comes to you and consoles you and then withdraws from you. That makes you do whatever you need to do to find Him again.

Thank you, that is a very good explanation of the process. It reminds of my life in general… in many respects - emotionally, academically and otherwise - I’ve had to endure a lot of hardship simply to get to the place where I am in life at this point. I’ve had to fight for everything I have, work extremely hard… its not been easy, especially with no parents or family, but I’m a much stronger person as a result, and I wouldn’t change that for anything. I’m a huge geek haha, but I’m reminded of a quote by Captain Kirk (Star Trek):

*You know that pain and guilt can’t be taken away with a wave of a magic wand. They’re the things we carry with us, the things that make us who we are. If we lose them, we lose ourselves. I don’t want my pain taken away! I need my pain! *

I’ve literally lived by that quote, especially in times when things were very tough for me. Its interesting also that you mention Mother Teresa. I was just reading about Mother’s long dry periods, and then I took out the letters she wrote to me and re-read them. I have one of her letters in front of me now, I forgot about this one, but she actually encourages me to attend mass! She says, “God loves you tenderly. You are precious to Him. Do not be afraid if you do not feel anything. He is in your own heart. You will find in it [the Mass] the strength you need to keep on loving - especially when it is difficult to love.”

Its interesting too in retrospect, she expected a LOT from me, considering I was only about 11 years old at the time… I wrote telling her that my mother was a prostitute, drug user and mentally ill… I was complaining about her. She replied, “I pray for you that you deepen your love for your mother and give her your best and your all. It is God’s will for you that you radiate His love, peace and joy to your own. Love begins at home - love lives at home. So do all you can to be His living love and tender touch to your mother.” Some would say that was pretty a tall order for a kid but I did listen to her (I remember being flattered that she spoke to me like I was an adult) and I tried my best to be kind my mother. My mother died very soon afterwards… like within 6 months of that letter. I am grateful to Mother for telling me that, as I now have no regrets or guilt as to how I treated my mother in her last days, I have felt at peace about her which is a huge gift considering how she was.

It just occurred to me that I can have the same attitude Mother suggests with my atheist friend!

grandfather:

It does not matter. Your friend is a deeply wounded soul. You can tell there is a wound and speculate the cause, but really can’t tell for sure. God may use you to bring her healing. All you can do is be open and honest. She may insult you further. If you persevere in loving her despite any offensive behavior you might get to her. If you take offense and respond in kind, you won’t help her. This is where Jesus’s saying, turn the other cheek, applies.

Definitely! I’m going to strive to do this. I honestly don’t know what the future holds, but I agree with you, my friend is very wounded. Now that I am not speaking with her anymore, its becoming quite clear. In a way I think our separation was meant to be, as its making me see things more clearly. If and when we do speak again, I think I will be able to handle the situation better… I will be stronger.

grandfather:

Do you know Jesus’ parable about the prodigal son? Your friend assumes she is being judged by you and religious people. She is worried about it as you were with the sisters.

Yes that is definitely true. I didn’t think of that until you mentioned it so thanks for pointing it out.

grandfather:

You may gain years of experience in prayer. You will always feel inadeguate. Everyone does. Another word for it is humility. God only hears the humble. God never hears the proud. As a saint grows in holiness she grows in humility.

Oh good. I’m glad to know feeling inadequate is a good thing. I will hang on to that thought and just try to do my best.

I have lots more to write but must go again for now, will be back later in the day.

 

[grandfather]

Susan,

Your story is very unusual. You realize your life is unusual, but maybe do not realize your conversion story is also unusual. Most converts, before they commit themselves, go through a period that you seem to have skipped. You have found what you are looking for, or maybe what was missing, and latched on to it immediately. I know of many conversion stories. Few if any are like this. Most people feel some attraction, but have strong objections to this or that Catholic doctrine. They go through a process of struggling with these things until they understand them all and it sometimes takes a long time.

You are more like Saint Paul. His conversion was instant. As I read your last post about reading Mother Teresa’s letter, it seems that maybe your story is different, because of her. One of the things we believe is in the Communion of Saints. We believe that those we love continue to love us and be active in our lives after death. What is a communion? It is sharing of something. In the Communion of Saints there is a sharing of spiritual goods. Mother Teresa is in heaven. She still prays for the ones she loves and her prayers are powerful. The inspirations and impulses we have come from somewhere. Where did the desire to attend Mass come from? Don’t you already have enough to do in life to keep you busy?

"God loves you tenderly. You are precious to Him. Do not be afraid if you do not feel anything. He is in your own heart. You will find in it [the Mass] the strength you need to keep on loving - especially when it is difficult to love.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

I know of many conversion stories. Few if any are like this. Most people feel some attraction, but have strong objections to this or that Catholic doctrine. They go through a process of struggling with these things until they understand them all and it sometimes takes a long time.

Hmm… I didn’t give it much thought honestly. Initially, about 2-3 months ago when I started to have the desire to attend mass, I had some brief misgivings about some doctrines of the Church. I was a bit worried that I couldn’t believe in them. But then a few days after I started going to mass, I just decided to myself that my lack of belief (if I had any) didn’t matter. If I was meant to be Catholic, God, Mother, the other Sisters, and whoever else was praying for me and encouraging me, would help me with any unbelief I might have. I asked God to help me. I asked for the strength to face whatever is coming, good, bad or indifferent. After that I quit worrying about it.

grandfather:

You are more like Saint Paul. His conversion was instant.

I’m flattered to have you say that, because I admire St. Paul so much. He’s one of my favourite saints. Partially because he’s Jewish, but also I admire what a strong personality he was, even before becoming Christian. He was very zealous, no matter what he believed in. Never lukewarm or sitting on the fence about anything. I am very strong willed and opinionated too, which gets me into trouble at times, though it may not come out in my writing so much. In any event I feel like I relate to him on some level.

grandfather:

As I read your last post about reading Mother Teresa’s letter, it seems that maybe your story is different, because of her. One of the things we believe is in the Communion of Saints. We believe that those we love continue to love us and be active in our lives after death. What is a communion? It is sharing of something. In the Communion of Saints there is a sharing of spiritual goods. Mother Teresa is in heaven. She still prays for the ones she loves and her prayers are powerful. The inspirations and impulses we have come from somewhere.

Wow that makes a lot of sense. So far I’ve been “guarded” about saying so, but I now suspect Mother was always with me, or has always been with me. I’ve never told anyone this until recently, but after she died (I was almost 19 at the time), I was very sad and regretted not having kept up writing to her. To make myself feel better about it I started “talking” to her. I talked to her quite a lot, every day practically, as if she was still alive. I told her I wished she was my mother because I missed having a mother. I told her what I was doing in school. I asked her to help me when I was sad. I would lie in bed at night and imagine that she was sitting on the edge of my bed. Even when I wrote exams in university I imagined she was standing over my shoulder helping me. I didn’t tell anyone because I figured people would think I was crazy. I assumed I just was fantasizing or daydreaming, maybe even losing my mind, because I was lonely at the time and really wanted a mother. It embarrassed me. I still imagine her being with me, though the whole experience of it is not quite as intense as it was when I was younger. I didn’t realize until recently though, that it might not all be “in my head”. She might really be with me!

grandfather:

Where did the desire to attend Mass come from? Don’t you already have enough to do in life to keep you busy?

Yes that’s a very good point. The desire just seemed to come out of nowhere at first. Though in retrospect, there were many people praying for me. And I think I wanted to be like the Sisters, and like Mother, for a long time. I just pushed it out of mind because I didn’t think I could, I didn’t think it was possible or that I was worthy to be Catholic. I know Catholics are not all saints or prefect but I was in awe of the Sisters. It was like a fantasy to be like them or anywhere near like them. I was very happy to receive a scholarship to university so I could study computers, but at the same time, I remember feeling very envious of my best friend who became a Sister. Part of me wanted to be a Sister also, but being a Jew, it seemed very impossible to be Christian at all, nevermind in the religious life. Difficult to explain, but even though I was raised secular and we had contact with the Sisters, there was kind of an unspoken rule between us (my mother and I) that we would never be Christians as that was a betrayal of our heritage, literally turning our backs on our People, making a mockery of the Holocaust and so forth. As an adult I’ve spoken with many Jews who feel the same way; I think its one of the reasons many Jews do not convert.

And yes I am extremely busy in my life. I certainly didn’t need more stuff to do… I wasn’t bored by any means!

grandfather:

The primary objective in her words, what you have to do, is “keep on loving”. All of us are created by God for a purpose. We will either accomplish it or we will fail. If we accomplish it we succeed in life, and if we do not our lives have no meaning and are empty. We are all created to love and be loved. That is why we exist. In the end, nothing else matters.

If I am going to do a thing, any thing, I need the power to do it. If I am going to love, I need the power to love. Where will that power come from? God is love. God who made you, is love. You can love and be loved, but you can not be Love. If you love you have God. If you do not, you lack God in you. Mother was telling you to persevere in love and to get the strength to do so from worshipping God, which is the Mass. The Mass is what we do to meet God who becomes present to us, in this place.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. Its been so helpful to read!

 

[chewchoo]

I didn’t realize until recently though, that it might not all be “in my head”. She might really be with me!

very beautiful and it is wonderful that you had such a awesome, holy, and personal friend to turn to.

, there was kind of an unspoken rule between us (my mother and I) that we would never be Christians as that was a betrayal of our heritage, literally turning our backs on our People, making a mockery of the Holocaust and so forth. As an adult I’ve spoken with many Jews who feel the same way; I think its one of the reasons many Jews do not convert.

very interesting. the catholic church has had on again, off again prayers as part of the mass that pray for the conversion of the jews (i don’t know the whole history of it), but many jews are offended by it, but in the long run, hopefully it has given some jews the courage to convert.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

Right on sista!!! You have a great head on your shoulders. Why would it be odd to contact people from your past? Why? There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with being appreciative of others and wanting to tell them so. Those people helped you in the greatest of ways. It is never wrong to seek someone out to say thank you, especially in this situation. I don’t think there is a statute of limitations on that.

Yes I have absolutely no regrets for having contacted people from my past. So far all the responses have been positive. Even if they were not, I think it would be healing for me in some respects. And I do so appreciate everything they did for me, and I want them all to know that. Even if it were weird as my friend suggests, I think I would just go ahead and seek people out anyhow, and embrace the weirdness!

Speaking of which, I was able to get the name of the priest who helped me to attend Catholic school… my principal knows him. He is now retired but she gave me his address and I have written him a letter (snail mail) telling him how I am and thanking him for everything. She says she thinks he will be thrilled and will likely write back as he loves to write. So I am checking the post every day now!
Always For Him:

Your friend is in a place where she can’t see it right now, but even back then, people helped her too. We have to be able to be thankful for anyone who has helped us along the way. It seems that she is not in a positive, loving, thankful place. When you are closed to God, you become selfish and non-appreciative. She is not in a very good place. She needed you to stay in that place with her.

Yes, I am realizing more all the time that she was not in a good place in many respects. I feel very bad for her actually, as I was her best friend and she doesn’t have many friends, more just acquaintances. So right now she has lost a good friend and I think she must be lonely. Honestly I think I am her dearest and truest friend, and I thought the same about her too for a long time. She always said that she hated most people… that most people are stupid and ignorant, but she always really liked me and felt we had a lot in common. And we do have much in common, excepting that she hates anything religious whereas I’ve always had a soft spot for the Sisters because of how they helped me. That was something we rarely discussed though, because I sensed she wasn’t interested.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

very beautiful and it is wonderful that you had such a awesome, holy, and personal friend to turn to.

Yes its really kind of exciting to me to think she might really have been there. I really did consider her a friend, just until recently I thought she was an “imaginary friend” so to speak…

chewchoo:

very interesting. the catholic church has had on again, off again prayers as part of the mass that pray for the conversion of the jews (i don’t know the whole history of it), but many jews are offended by it, but in the long run, hopefully it has given some jews the courage to convert.

I think its difficult to convert when you’re Jewish. I feel unqualified to speak about it in detail because I was raised secular, but at the same time I know the general attitude. Most feel we are falsely accused of putting Jesus to death, when in fact Jews believe it was the Romans alone who killed him. Because of Jesus’ blood being on us (at least in the eyes of Christians) we have been scattered and persecuted for 2000 years. Very often our persecutors were Christians (e.g. the Spanish Inquisition for instance). So to become one of the followers of the renegade Jew (Jesus) who we were falsely accused of killing, and who has indirectly caused our people so much misery… well, that is the ultimate betrayal for many. At least that’s my understanding of it.

 

[Susan_Calvin]

By all means, attend Eucharistic Adoration. It is so peaceful to sit in the presence of the Eucharist, to pray, to contemplate God’s presence,
to be in a Holy place.

Yes it really is fantastic, isn’t it?? I just went the once, but I can’t wait to go again. It was so peaceful, I had trouble leaving and going back to work! I would have stayed there all afternoon if I could. Apparently the adoration lasts 4 hours and then there is benediction. I definitely know where I will be if I ever have Fridays off!

cdanison:

Susan, I have seen God’a love for you since you first told us about your feelings. It has been such a blessing. I am a convert from 2004 and know so many beautiful things that have happened to me since then. It has been such a spiritual journey. I am 71, and wish I had been led to the Catholic church a long time ago. I went to so many Protestant churches, but was never so enthusiastic as when I came “home”. My Catholic faith is so wonderful. I feel so much closer to God.

Wow that is amazing… you are amazing! And to think here I have been feeling sorry for myself and feeling old to start this process at age 30! You’ve certainly put things in perspective for me. Really I’m very happy for you. Thank you so much for sharing and for the prayers.