Strong Desire to Attend Mass, But Not Catholic

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chewchoo said:
i recommend looking into the book Left To Tell, by immaculee iligagiza. she is a survivor of the rwandan holocaust. i saw her speak about 2 years ago. the horrors she went thru and her total forgiveness of all is truly a gift from God. yes she had to turn herself over to God, but she is amazing. she hid in a small bathroom for 9 months with 8 or 9 other women. very little food, and a rosary. i think she asked for and received a bible as well while she was in there. she reflects God’s love so beautifully.
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The story of Imaculle Illibegiza coiuld be the most amazing story of a century, truly a spiritual journey. I gave the book to my daughter who is a busy young mother of two little boys and works as a full time nurse in a hospital. She does not have five minutes of spare time. She went to bed and opened the book and stayed up all night until she finished it. Could not stop reading.
 
Susan_Calvin said:
I understand the analogy, its awesome! But I don’t understand how I am able to give away grace that I have received. Is it by praying for people, being kind to them, etc? I’m not really sure how that works.

Yes I agree. Still, I don’t really get how I will do that, other than trying my best to be kind to others and asking for God’s help?
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Jesus says something very strange. He says when you give alms do not let your right hand know what your left hand is doing, or vice versa, I forget.

How could you do that? What does this mean? What is the essence of what Mother Teresa and her nuns did for you? What motivates them to run a soup kitchen, AIDS hospice, homes for the dying desititute, and to pray for those they encounter and be kind?
They love.

Saint Augustine has been mentioned some here. One profound statement he made was. “Love and do what you will”. Anything you do that is motivated by love is an act of charity. We think of charity as donating alms. It is, but the word really means love. The same act, giving a meal to a poor person, could be an act of charity, or an act of selfishness. Maybe I am donating money to the poor so people will think highly of me, rather than for love of the poor. The value of what you do depends on the motive. Jesus says, “You can do nothing without me”. The power to pass on grace, to be an instrument of grace is from God.

So people try to hide their good works, because they do not want applause or attention. They make anonymous donations. People also often do not even realize when they are being instruments of grace. Jesus says that He will call the elect to Himself and tell them all the good they did for Him and they will wonder what it was. They did not know they were doing things for which they would be rewarded. He said as often as the person did a kindness to a hungry, thirsty, sick, naked, soul it was done to Him. They did them not thinking or aware they were doing them.

So when you tied the shoes of the dirty stranger you were being kind to Jesus. Mother Teresa saw Christ in every helpless soul she served, including you.

Scripture says we do not know when we might be encountering angels.
 
Susan_Calvin said:
Thanks so much for the recommendation. I would love to read how someone else has accomplished this. I hope I can order the book online. I have no doubt I will be able to forgive eventually, as recently I was able to forgive my father, and I never thought that would come to pass. Still though, just being honest here, I’m not going to pretend its easy and that’s why I say I think I need God’s help.
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She did it by God’s grace, and so will you, or you won’t do it.

Forgiving someone who hurt or offended you is not only not easy, it is impossible, without grace. With grace it is not only easy, but you are compelled to freely forgive. How can you be compelled and act freely? With grace you can not withhold forgiveness. You realize that you are forgiven and you want every soul that exist to experience the same thing. mercy.
 
grandfather said:
The story of Imaculle Illibegiza coiuld be the most amazing story of a century, truly a spiritual journey. I gave the book to my daughter who is a busy young mother of two little boys and works as a full time nurse in a hospital. She does not have five minutes of spare time. She went to bed and opened the book and stayed up all night until she finished it. Could not stop reading.
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Imaculle Illibegiza was on “Sunday Night Live” on EWTN with Fr. Benedict Groeschel a couple of months ago. She was fabulous. If you get a chance to see that program in a rerun, then by all means see that program.
 
Susan,
I thought I would reccomend you check out librovox.com. It contains MANY free audio books of works before 1920. You would be shocked at all the free audio books they have. I especially enjoy the site because they have G.K. Chesterton’s Orthodoxy in audio book. Without a doubt, one of the best books I have ever read in my entire life. I am sure many of the members in this forum feel the same way. I have read that book almost 5 times in the last year.
peace,
Gerrie
 
Al_Masetti said:
Imaculle Illibegiza was on “Sunday Night Live” on EWTN with Fr. Benedict Groeschel a couple of months ago. She was fabulous. If you get a chance to see that program in a rerun, then by all means see that program.
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This might be the same Web site as the name of her book:

immaculee.com/
 
Sorry everyone that I haven’t been around to update and respond to messages… my life suddenly became a whole lot busier! The Sister who is teaching me catechism also teaches children, and the Sisters have a year round program for the kids. They are short of volunteers and asked me if I would help. I feel unworthy as I’m not Catholic yet but its pretty simple work. I supervise the kids, play games with them, teach them the rosary, and take them to mass (along with 2 Sisters). Its been great actually, to be able to do something for my parish. I’ve also started reciting the Liturgy of the Hours daily, its wonderful! Between that and work though, I have very little time to be online. I hope to “make time” next week, and I will write more then. Take care all. 🙂
 
You are assured of our prayers, and the love of the Lord is with you, and has always been your companion. Amen!
 
Glad to know you’re doing great and helping out the kids. 😃

Don’t worry about us, we can manage. 😛

Will still be praying for you.
 
Susan,
I don’t know you at all, yet this thread has brought tears to my eyes after reading through it today. What a wonderful series of events to bring you into the arms of our Lord…You are so welcome here at CAF. My prayers will be with you as you walk on your journey. Keep us posted occasionally. I personally am very interested in what happens…
 
Susan Calvin –
I was very saddened to read of your horrible abuse as a small child. I, too, was genitally mutilated when very young.
As long as your taking suggestions for your reading list, may I propose a book I just finished “The Shack.” It’s currently available in paperback. Sorry, I don’t remember the author’s name. (Perhaps, someone has already suggested it and I missed the post).
SPOILER ALERT
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It’s about a father’s real encounter with the Triune God after the murder of his young daughter. (My apologies to all for that spoiler, but you need to be forewarned that it is an emotionally wrenching story.)The story is told from a true Christian, but not specifically Catholic perspective (the Communion of Saints is a bit shorted in it).
I found it very uplifting, spiritually, and it helped me a great deal in releasing old resentments and being willing to forgive those who had hurt me.
God bless! – Rusty
PS-- I am so glad to hear that you are doing volunteer work with the children. God’s grace and charity are already flowing abundantly through you to others. Good job!
 
Rustyxcv said:
As long as your taking suggestions for your reading list, may I propose a book I just finished “The Shack.” It’s currently available in paperback. Sorry, I don’t remember the author’s name.
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It has not been suggested yet as most people gave her book recommendations that aren’t fiction. It’s great that you took something good from this book, though I keep hearing from some that the theology in this book is quite shaky. Of course taking it as the work of fiction that it is, there really shouldn’t be a problem with it. 😉

Sorry to hear about your own troubles though it’s great to see God has helped you in your healing. 😃
 
Liraco said:
It has not been suggested yet as most people gave her book recommendations that aren’t fiction. It’s great that you took something good from this book, though I keep hearing from some that the theology in this book is quite shaky. Of course taking it as the work of fiction that it is, there really shouldn’t be a problem with it. 😉

Sorry to hear about your own troubles though it’s great to see God has helped you in your healing. 😃
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I must agree with you. There are so many good, orthodox Catholic books that deal with the same subject, that reading a non-Catholic novel (where God is allegedly female) is not likely to help. Judith needs good, solid Catholicism at this point.
 
Rustyxcv said:
I was very saddened to read of your horrible abuse as a small child. I, too, was genitally mutilated when very young.
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Thanks and I’m very sorry to hear about your own experience. I certainly have some idea of how you must have felt. Its interesting you recommended The Shack as a friend of mine back in the States also recommended it to me because of what I had experienced as a child. I have read it, I read it last year shortly after it was released. Its quite good, I like allegorical type books, which I take The Shack to be. Though, CS Lewis is tops in my opinion as far as allegories. The Narnia books were my favourite as a kid, I read the entire set probably 100 times (no exaggeration!). I only recently discovered the Narnia books had a Christian undertone to them, never realized that as a child. They are a quick read so I read them again recently and it was very eye-opening! I know CS Lewis is not Catholic but I do like him very much. In any event, thanks for the recommendation, though I have already read it! I’m glad it helped you.

I recently read The Great Divorce by CS Lewis, which is his allegory about heaven and hell. Its very good, though I found the part on purgatory confusing. Lewis suggests that if one leaves hell and enters heaven they may then call their time in hell “purgatory”. Which wasn’t exactly what Sister taught me… though of course he is not Catholic and he does mention that the book is not to be taken literally by any means. Anyhow, it did get me more interested in the doctrine of purgatory and Sister suggested the book Purgatory: Explained by the Lives and Legends of the Saints by Fr. F.X. Schappe, SJ. So, I am reading that at the moment. Its difficult but I’m enjoying it. My highschool principal also sent me a couple of books recently. I told her I was interested in learning more about Sisters and the religious life in general, and especially how congregations have changed since Vatican II. So, one of the books she sent me is Chastity, Poverty and Obedience by Mother Mary Francis, PCC. I haven’t read it yet but it looks good.
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Rustyxcv:
I am so glad to hear that you are doing volunteer work with the children. God’s grace and charity are already flowing abundantly through you to others. Good job!
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Thanks, I’m really enjoying it! 🙂
 
Musician said:
I don’t know you at all, yet this thread has brought tears to my eyes after reading through it today. What a wonderful series of events to bring you into the arms of our Lord…You are so welcome here at CAF. My prayers will be with you as you walk on your journey. Keep us posted occasionally. I personally am very interested in what happens…
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Thanks for the welcome, I’m very touched! I still can’t believe how many people read this thread and are interested in my life. Its very humbling but encouraging also and I thank you all for the prayers and good wishes. I’ve no doubt its helping me in my journey, and if its helping others in the process - well, that is amazing and I thank God for it.
 
Well, I am still very busy. I am now getting ready for my friend, who is a Daughter of St. Paul, to come for her visit. She arrives on Sunday night. I’m very excited to see her; she’s going to spend a whole week with me, and I managed to get the time off from work. It means more heavy work later on but its well worth it. We may even go visit the Missionaries of Charity while she’s here. I wasn’t going to see them “officially” until August but I don’t mind having a short visit with them ahead of time. 😉 Other than that, I really don’t have much else to report for now. Friday is the day I go to Eucharistic Adoration and it was wonderful as usual. I’ve started bringing a journal with me and writing as things pop into my mind. Later on, what I have written is quite amazing to read. Maybe sometime I will share some of it.

To all my American friends here, have a great Independence Day! 🙂
 
Susan_Calvin said:
Well, I am still very busy. I am now getting ready for my friend, who is a Daughter of St. Paul, to come for her visit. She arrives on Sunday night. I’m very excited to see her; she’s going to spend a whole week with me, and I managed to get the time off from work. It means more heavy work later on but its well worth it. We may even go visit the Missionaries of Charity while she’s here. I wasn’t going to see them “officially” until August but I don’t mind having a short visit with them ahead of time. 😉 Other than that, I really don’t have much else to report for now. Friday is the day I go to Eucharistic Adoration and it was wonderful as usual. I’ve started bringing a journal with me and writing as things pop into my mind. Later on, what I have written is quite amazing to read. Maybe sometime I will share some of it.

To all my American friends here, have a great Independence Day! 🙂
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A further, and as usual, strong testament to the goodness of the Lord, and to the openness of your heart. You are entering the Church via the industrial strength formula! Prayers for you along your blessed journey. Amen!
 
po18guy said:
A further, and as usual, strong testament to the goodness of the Lord, and to the openness of your heart. You are entering the Church via the industrial strength formula! Prayers for you along your blessed journey. Amen!
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Thanks so much for the prayers and encouragement! Funny, I thought of you at mass today, and prayed for you also.
 
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