Sunday Best? Church Leaders Blush at "Casual Catholic" Dress

[Sarabande]

As I sat yesterday in church in my jeans and sneakers I had a question… now it wasn’t for Mass but for our Oktoberfest…

Does anyone else see that what you wear to Mass might also be influenced by your location?

For example, in New York where people seem to dress up more or you do have work that may require a suit and tie and where you have beautiful churches like St. Patricks Cathedral. They may dress up more because they already have clothes like that in their wardrobe and they won’t stick out and call undue attention on themselves.

Where I live which is a network of small farming communities, someone wearing a suit or even a dress shirt AND tie would really stick out and call undue attention on themselves.

That being said…at daily Mass at my other parish…I once saw a lady with a veil on her head wearing a miniskirt…still confused about that one:shrug: You want to cover your head but you don’t want to cover

Oh, definitely. I and a couple others have mentioned something similar in previous posts. My attire for mass will change depending on where I attend mass. Whenever I am In the rural, farming community where I have attended mass from the time I was a baby till now, my clothing is more casual, although always clean, pressed and modest. If I wore anything more than that, it would make me stand out. The only times I have ever seen people up there wear “nicer” clothing (such as dress pants/ties or suits or nicer dresses) were for baptisms and weddings. (I don’t know about funerals, as I have never attended one up there.)

In the city parishes and suburban parishes it’s a mixed bag. Some people dress up more, some people wear more casual clothing. Then there are younger people who sometimes look like their parents did everything they could to get them out of bed and come to mass or others who put work into their outfits, but are less than ideal in terms of modesty (tight, lowcut outfits, or very short skirts/dresses).

I think it’s a rare thing if people are dressed to the nines or sloppily for mass, and I think most people do dress cleanly and modestly with different levels of what they consider as their Sunday best. I also am of the belief to think the best of people and believe that most dress the way they do because that is just how they dress. No particular, heavy, intellectual, or spiritual thought goes into it. Most, I believe, don’t do it to make a point or to impress on either side of the “debate”. Those clothes are just what are in their closets. We are also all products of our environment. If we were raised to dress a certain way for mass or for other particular occasions, most of the time we will continue to dress that way when we grow up. If we live in an area where it was expected to dress more casually or nicer for mass, we would.

 

[Riley08]

I wear jeans to mass- and to LATIN mass as well!! Oh the horror!! My wife even wears jeans!!!

Me too!

Frankly that is all I have left to wear since the economy took both me and my husband’s jobs, our home and depleted our IRAs and savings accounts but if my “church family” wants to judge me, go ahead. I’m still at Mass every Sunday praising God for all the blessings in my life!!

 

[CMatt25]

Apparently not many, Tigg.

Given the reaction on this thread to something so simple (coming as it did directly from Church leaders, not posters), it’s no wonder that the Church is facing so many problems with the disregard of its authority and teaching leadership among American Catholics, who 'brand" their own Autonomous Catholicism.

Very interesting that your bishop used the phrase himself, Tigg.

What’s even more interesting is the article sights a few leaders, a deacon and a couple of priests or so from NY and Arkansas. So if one lives in lets say Oregon and his or her priest/deacon/bishop are fine with a more casual dress code, the Catholics then in Oregon are supposed to follow the leaders in lets say NY?

 

[rlg94086]

.
That being said…at daily Mass at my other parish…I once saw a lady with a veil on her head wearing a miniskirt…still confused about that one:shrug: You want to cover your head but you don’t want to cover

Very confused!

 

[CMatt25]

Yes, it is wrong to assume that somebody who wears a suit or dress is dressed that way to appear “weathier” or “better off” JUST as is is also a flagrant violation of charity, consisting as it does of unwarranted rash judgement and stereotyping to assume that some is dressed in jeans or dockers (what some would consider less than “Sunday Best”) does not understand or respect the Mass. Someone could be wearing designer jeans to appear “weathier” or “better off” just as someone could be wearing a suit or a dress who does not understand or respect the Mass. I think that was a lot of peoples point on here…which you just proved, thank you.

Thank you Annabelle Marie! Exactly. And all we ask is that our respect for the Mass and Jesus not be considered by those for example in suits, ties, dresses, buttoned shirts with collars, to be any less than their own respect. And what I have found interesting at least as I read through threads like this one, is it seems to me those wearing jeans and dockers and cargo or docker-like shorts and plain tee shirts are mostly not the ones attempting rash judgement of hearts and respect. God bless you and peace.

 

[Riley08]

you sure are getting irritated and putting a lot of words in my mouth, when all I suggested was putting a change of clothes in a bag.

I just weighed my clothes: I usually wear slacks and a dress shirt and shoes. If you tend to wear nicer shoes to class, you wont even have to change shoes. Grand total of 3 pounds, including shoes. If they’re folded properly they wont wrinkle, and many clothes are made wrinkle resistant. For ladies, a dress might weigh even less. I doubt that people’s backpacks are so stuffed that they cant fit 3lbs of clothing in them.

Honestly, I think you are the one getting irritated here ChiRho trying to ram your beliefs down someone’s neck. I think his points are valid and I admire him for making it to Mass at all. Just because you want to make up rules doesn’t mean we have to believe and/or follow them. God doesn’t care what we come in just that we come! Save your judgements for confession!

 

[MissRose73]

There are days I wish that Sunday best in some way would return to weekend Mass. I am not asking for people to dress in expensive clothes if they cannot afford them or do not wish to wear them. Even I take the effort to wear something (or bring something appropriate to change into during my break to go from casual clothes to church appropriate clothes) appropriate for Mass to work on Saturdays as I go to Mass straight from work (I work in technical support) even though the weekend dress code at work is jeans and tee shirts.

I am sure if priests mentioned they wish for people to come to Mass dressed decently and modestly, that more would perhaps listen. Even my sister’s children like to wear jeans sometimes to Mass but my mother makes sure they are neat, clean, etc and paired up with a nice regular shirt but if my nephew knows ahead of time that he will be helping his grandma with the procession carrying a candle, he will wear khakis instead.

 

[Riley08]

If you think that people don’t judge you by your outward appearance, you are wrong.

I’m sure people do but I can certainly count on my fellow Christians not to follow that very unholy route of judging people. Only God will judge us, right?

 

[jeffrey_erwin]

I was called out at Mass by Father Paul for having come to Church with my canoe on top of my wagon. (We subsequently had a cordial conversation.) On a different note (but more to the subject at hand) I do find the short shorts and tight sweaters distracting, but I can’t say that I object them.

 

[severus68]

No. Of the many who came I hadn’t some reason to think they would not. Maybe the word "just’ through you off. What would be more odd to me is if I were not simply glad they came regardless of whether they were wearing a suit and tie or dress or more casual attire. By that mean I didn’t sit there thinking, now lets see. This person is in a suit so he honors my mother more than that person who is in more casual attire. The fact they were there showed me they came to honor. And I was blessed by the presence of all. Just as I used to feel blessed in the Lord’s house by the presence of all of us gathering to honor and worship Him. Until I learned there might be some sitting there in His house who are taking it upon themselves to judge the respect I have for Jesus on the inside by what I am wearing on the outside. Now (to use Elizabeth’s phrasing) I might have to make an “honest assessment” as to whether I am even welcomed in their presence to come as I am.

Great post.

 

[severus68]

I’m sure people do but I can certainly count on my fellow Christians not to follow that very unholy route of judging people. Only God will judge us, right?

I am sure you can.

 

[Tantum_ergo]

I’m sure people do but I can certainly count on my fellow Christians not to follow that very unholy route of judging people. Only God will judge us, right?

Ah, but Christians were never told that they could NEVER judge anything. (otherwise we wouldn’t have judges and courts and juries in Christians societies, right? )

It’s unfortunate that words like ‘judge’ carry such a perjorative connotation in today’s society.

Suppose that you were going to a restaurant and the server ignored your table for the first 20 minutes even though there was nobody else in the restaurant, then mixed up your orders, crashed the plates, spilled your food on you deliberately, cussed you out. . .well, you would certainly be entitled, as a patron of the restaurant, to demand to speak with someone in authority and to complain of the poor service, right?

Oh noes --you are JUDGING that poor server. Isn’t that only up to God?

Or to take a more spiritual example. . .suppose that your 11 year old daughter’s religious education teacher tells her class that the Church is wrong on its teachings on abortion, male priests, contraception, and encourages them to work for NARAL, womynpriest, and Planned Parenthood when they become adults, to 'take down the Church from the INSIDE". . .and she forbids the children from telling their parents and in fact encourages them to denounce their parents and disobey them at every turn. Your daughter, being a nice normal child, comes and tells you the whole story, and you and the parents of her friends get together, hear the testimony of the other children, and then demand of your parish priest and bishop that this woman be held responsible for her actions.

Oh noes --you are judging that poor teacher. isn’t that only up to God?

There are plenty of instances where people are preaching falsehood as truth, and where you have to (as gently and lovingly, but FIRMLY) tell them they made an error. That isn’t JUDGING them, it’s HELPING them.

Because as Ezechiel in Scripture warns, The Lord tells us, “If you see a man doing evil, and you do not warn him of his wrongdoing, he will surely die for his sins, but I will hold YOU responsible as well”.

See, there is more to the Scriptures than "Judge not lest ye be judged’.

The mistake comes in that people mistake correction of a wrong word or action for a judgment. It is not necessarily so.

 

[CMatt25]

Ah, but Christians were never told that they could NEVER judge anything. (otherwise we wouldn’t have judges and courts and juries in Christians societies, right? )

It’s unfortunate that words like ‘judge’ carry such a perjorative connotation in today’s society.

Suppose that you were going to a restaurant and the server ignored your table for the first 20 minutes even though there was nobody else in the restaurant, then mixed up your orders, crashed the plates, spilled your food on you deliberately, cussed you out. . .well, you would certainly be entitled, as a patron of the restaurant, to demand to speak with someone in authority and to complain of the poor service, right?

Oh noes --you are JUDGING that poor server. Isn’t that only up to God?

Or to take a more spiritual example. . .suppose that your 11 year old daughter’s religious education teacher tells her class that the Church is wrong on its teachings on abortion, male priests, contraception, and encourages them to work for NARAL, womynpriest, and Planned Parenthood when they become adults, to 'take down the Church from the INSIDE". . .and she forbids the children from telling their parents and in fact encourages them to denounce their parents and disobey them at every turn. Your daughter, being a nice normal child, comes and tells you the whole story, and you and the parents of her friends get together, hear the testimony of the other children, and then demand of your parish priest and bishop that this woman be held responsible for her actions.

Oh noes --you are judging that poor teacher. isn’t that only up to God?

There are plenty of instances where people are preaching falsehood as truth, and where you have to (as gently and lovingly, but FIRMLY) tell them they made an error. That isn’t JUDGING them, it’s HELPING them.

Because as Ezechiel in Scripture warns, The Lord tells us, “If you see a man doing evil, and you do not warn him of his wrongdoing, he will surely die for his sins, but I will hold YOU responsible as well”.

See, there is more to the Scriptures than "Judge not lest ye be judged’.

The mistake comes in that people mistake correction of a wrong word or action for a judgment. It is not necessarily so.

Tantum, I shall trust you surely are not placing the wearing of for example, jeans, plain tee shirts, team jerseys, and cargo Docker shorts at or below the knee to Mass, within the same realm with evil.

 

[sw85]

Just curious but has anyone noticed a general difference in how people dress when they attend the old Tridentine Mass? There’s a cathedral in Austin, TX about an hour from me that holds one every Sunday and I’m interested in going.

 

[NiteClerk]

I used to be really strict about dressing up for Mass. Even when traveling during the summer we would try to change clothes before Mass. But a couple of years ago I bought a cabin on a lake that we go to most weekends. Now we normally leave the cabin on Sunday morning and stop at a local Catholic Church on the way home for Mass. This is a Parish that is mostly just a wide spot in the highway with a lot of rural farms. Most of the time we are in shorts (not swimming trunks) and maybe sandals. Not to mention sunburned and wind blown hair. So my standards have changed. But I will say that the Priest and parishioners have always made us feel welcome.

 

[MissRose73]

Just curious but has anyone noticed a general difference in how people dress when they attend the old Tridentine Mass? There’s a cathedral in Austin, TX about an hour from me that holds one every Sunday and I’m interested in going.

When I attend the Tridentine (EF Mass), yes I am much more conscious of what I choose to wear because more people are dressed appropriately and modestly. That has affected how I dress for Ordinary Form Mass.

At the EF Masses I have attended at a variety of diocesan churches in the past 3 to 4 months, people have shown up wearing mainly:

Men/boys – khaki pants with either polo shirts or button down shirts ; dress shirts & pants - some wear ties & a jacket too ; very few wear jeans but those who did they were not tight or very baggy with polo shirts or button down shirts

Women/girls – Dresses that reach the knees or below, short or long sleeved, nothing sleeveless/tight/revealing ; skirts that reach the knees - tight/revealing ; Shirts/sweaters/blouses short or long sleeved not tight/revealing/showing cleavage (with pants or skirts) ; Pants - dressy or khaki types but not tight/revealing ; Many but not all wear some type of head covering like mantillas, veils, headscarf, or chapel caps/veils most popular option

 

[CMatt25]

Women/girls – Dresses that reach the knees or below, short or long sleeved, nothing sleeveless/tight/revealing ; **skirts that reach the knees - tight/revealing **; Shirts/sweaters/blouses short or long sleeved not tight/revealing/showing cleavage (with pants or skirts) ; Pants - dressy or khaki types but not tight/revealing ; Many but not all wear some type of head covering like mantillas, veils, headscarf, or chapel caps/veils most popular option

Miss Rose, did you mean skirts not tight/revealing too?

 

[CMatt25]

I used to be really strict about dressing up for Mass. Even when traveling during the summer we would try to change clothes before Mass. But a couple of years ago I bought a cabin on a lake that we go to most weekends. Now we normally leave the cabin on Sunday morning and stop at a local Catholic Church on the way home for Mass. This is a Parish that is mostly just a wide spot in the highway with a lot of rural farms. Most of the time we are in shorts (not swimming trunks) and maybe sandals. Not to mention sunburned and wind blown hair. So my standards have changed. But I will say that the Priest and parishioners have always made us feel welcome.

Very Christian of them to make you feel welcome.

 

[Riley08]

Ah, but Christians were never told that they could NEVER judge anything. (otherwise we wouldn’t have judges and courts and juries in Christians societies, right? )

It’s unfortunate that words like ‘judge’ carry such a perjorative connotation in today’s society.

Suppose that you were going to a restaurant and the server ignored your table for the first 20 minutes even though there was nobody else in the restaurant, then mixed up your orders, crashed the plates, spilled your food on you deliberately, cussed you out. . .well, you would certainly be entitled, as a patron of the restaurant, to demand to speak with someone in authority and to complain of the poor service, right?

Oh noes --you are JUDGING that poor server. Isn’t that only up to God?

Or to take a more spiritual example. . .suppose that your 11 year old daughter’s religious education teacher tells her class that the Church is wrong on its teachings on abortion, male priests, contraception, and encourages them to work for NARAL, womynpriest, and Planned Parenthood when they become adults, to 'take down the Church from the INSIDE". . .and she forbids the children from telling their parents and in fact encourages them to denounce their parents and disobey them at every turn. Your daughter, being a nice normal child, comes and tells you the whole story, and you and the parents of her friends get together, hear the testimony of the other children, and then demand of your parish priest and bishop that this woman be held responsible for her actions.

Oh noes --you are judging that poor teacher. isn’t that only up to God?

There are plenty of instances where people are preaching falsehood as truth, and where you have to (as gently and lovingly, but FIRMLY) tell them they made an error. That isn’t JUDGING them, it’s HELPING them.

Because as Ezechiel in Scripture warns, The Lord tells us, “If you see a man doing evil, and you do not warn him of his wrongdoing, he will surely die for his sins, but I will hold YOU responsible as well”.

See, there is more to the Scriptures than "Judge not lest ye be judged’.

The mistake comes in that people mistake correction of a wrong word or action for a judgment. It is not necessarily so.

I was merely trying to point out that judging our brothers and sisters in church for what they are wearing is not very Christ like. The old motto - until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes… I didn’t realize we would be dragging in the whole kitchen sink in this discussion. I think you’ve gone a little far afield of the topic.

It has become a very tiresome topic and I know I am comfortable with letting everyone find their own way to worship God. I am sadden by the lack of the same charitable thinking by my fellow Catholic brothers and sisters.

 

[MissRose73]

Miss Rose, did you mean skirts not tight/revealing too?

Yes, I meant that too… I was typing too fast.