Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III

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Greenfields has a fixation on Judy Garland. As of today she owns 122 pair of sparkly red slippers.
 
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When Greenfields clicks red slippers together she is transported immediately to Kansas with her pet kangaroo Ralph, and was heard to say “We aren’t in Queensland anymore Ralph.”
 
Milt believes that the cereal rice krispies is made from corn.
 
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This Christmas Milt bought his children a little red wagon. He used the receipt as a tax right off. Hey, it is a portable lemonade stand.
 
In a carefully worded letter, The Legend has corrected Milt’s confusion regarding the basic ingredient in Rice Krispies. Milt now understands, due to The Legend’s diligence and vast knowledge, that Rice Krispies are made from Styrofoam packing “peanuts.”
 
Once all y’all stop making me laugh I may be able to respond. In the mean time my side hurts and the wife is sure I lost it. 🤣 Seriously thanks for the laughs.
 
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Still trapped under the cave-in, Miley was going a bit crazy from,rereading Brother Gov’s collection fir the 32nd time when he found a box of rice crispies. As he had the red wagon from him, a byproduct of needing to show the IRS it was indeed for a business, he loaded the wagon with rice crispies and sloshed in some lemonade. Then he shoved it towards the rock where it snap crackles pop pop popped the rocks away, leading to freedom.
 
mVitus learned of all this after his pet parrot related the whole story through a sequence of squarks,shrieks,scratchings at the back of its head with a scaly claw ,and several winks.His trained parrot was totally exhausted after its two day journey and after a meal of tinned corn,mVitus tucked in the weary parrot in its cerial box bed ,went to his desk …and cried.
 
That brutal, Gov. Brutal.

Brother Gov arrived at his fortress of solitude and was appalled to find it wrecked as Milt stood in the rubble and swatted a parrot. Filled with rage, Borther Gov’s muscles swelled as he became The Incredible Gov. Taking each boulder he began to rebuild the fortress stone by stone. By the time he finished, he was proud of his work and looked at the rebuilt fortress until a wind blew it back down. He now rents the place out as a bouldering course and uses the profits to rent a room at the Ritz Carlton.
 
mVitus’ pet parrot, Squawk, actually once belonged to Jimmy Buffet. mVitus stole it from Jimmy when Buffet went back stage to greet some fans at a concert in Lubbock, Texas. It is rumored that Jimmy now knows who the thief of his beloved Squawk is, and has urged any and all his fans to find mVitus. It is also rumored that Buffet has been studying the tactics of Batman’s arch-nemesis, Dr. Freeze, so as to enact his vengeance on mVitus, reportedly something about a hundred gallons of frozen margaritas and a beer bong. Last word is that mVitus is desperately begging to be allowed in Brother Gov’s fortress of solitude. Brother Gov reportedly will allow mVitus in, for a price. Only the International Man of Mystery knows what that is. Stay tuned…
 
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joeybaggz is looking for a lawyer to aid him in his lawsuit against Monsanto, maker of the alleged faulty product Roundup herbicide. The city was on joey’s case because his lawn was a weed patch. Before purchasing the product joey built a corral around his ‘lawn’ then opened the jug and sat it in the middle of the corral. Days became weeks, weeks became months and still not one single weed was ever rounded up.
 
joeybaggz said:
Jimmy Buffet
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True story. We went to see a Buffet concert years ago and ranks as the worst concert I have ever attended. First he was around an hour and a half late in showing up, and when he did he was so drunk that half way through his first set he fell off the state and knocked himself out cold. Loads of fun that…NOT.

Stay tuned for the rest of the story…Titled “Why Is The Legend Hopping Around On A Pogo Stick?”
 
Milt didn’t tell us the whole story of how Jimmy Buffet came to be drunk and late. You see, after freeing himself from the fortress of solitude, Milt went home to see his wife and kids. His daughter, having lacked the wagon was eager to make up for lost profits in the lemonade business. As Milt prepared for the concert, his daughter went around selling lemonade to everyone. When she reached an intersection where a crash had occurred, thirsty drivers, including the famous Buffet, lined up for her lemonade. One well intentioned, but ill-informed, driver sold Milt’s daughter some hard lemonade to supplant her dwindling supplies. By the time Jimmy Buffet realized what had happened, it was too late.
 
I really loved eating out in the USA,the food was incredible …kind of like a food paradise for someone who doesn’t eat out very often.Meals often way too big,but enough to package and take home for the next day.
I’ve never tasted foods so smokey barbecued before,so sweet!
The atmosphere in the Cracker Barrel store was very homily 🙂 Had a real family atmosphere ,smiling faces whenever I looked across the tables and caught eyes with people.Our table waiter ,on one memorable morning at the start of our day trip reminded me very much of my older brother back home,same sense of humour and kind disposition .He asked about ourselves ,where we were from and said ‘my name’s mVitus,maybe I’ll catch you guys on the way back through?’,
 
Greenfields said:
The Legend greases back his hair with old fashioned poppyseed oil.
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I use only the finest oil for my greased locks. And i get the poppy seed oil from our very own Greenfields. Who refines it herself from her green fields. And now we know the secret to Greenfields lack back mellow nature.
 
The Legend was actually on TV in a commercial for L’Oreal. He beat out Adam Driver who took his hair to the Star Wars audition.
 
Bartholo has been training for many years to participate in the Olympics…diet and weight training finally paid off…Bartholo is Shaun White’s new snowboard…
 
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