Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III

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@Bartholo, I don’t remember that. Did you drug me again?

Boldlygo went into a contest to enter the winter Olympics in his favorite sport: Beach volleyball. When the try outs told him beach volleyball was a summer sport he took out a string with all his preserved butterflies on it, made a net and began setting snowballs. When the try outs still wouldn’t have him he decided he’d have to forge his own way and made his way to Pyongyang, following advice from this thread ( Would you bow to the statue of Kim Jong-il and Kim Il-Sung? ) and studied the layout of the games. You’ll see him on TV tomorrow at 10:45 am CST spiking snowballs over his butterfly net.
 
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every time mvitus reaches into a cooler he hopes it will some sweet young thang he pulls out. Who do think invented the portable cooler. But with all the ginger ale mvitus has been drinking he can no longer see the cooler due the girth of his waist.
 
Greensfield sold the peas to aforementioned mother. She planted a garden with rows upon rows of peas and laid them out on a stand. To passerbys she advertised cooked peas delivered to one’s home. TheLegend’s mother came along and listened to the offer.

But then Greensfiled got legalistic. She had said she’d bring cooked peas, but she hadn’t said the cokked peas would be the ones from her garden. Taking out one bag of frozen peas, she cooked them and delivered them.

And then The Legebd’s mother out shells on the peas for some reason, hence why he’s now shelling them.
 
MVitus has great reception from way up in his treehouse .It must me very chilly up there in his pj’s ,gaps in the boards beneath leafless limbs and ice cold breath on a snowy night.
 
Greensfield has an evil doppelganger named Greensfiled A Lawsuit.

And true story: I only recall ever being in a treehouse one time. I was over at my grandparents’ and so was a cousin of mine. (He’s about 3 months older than me.) Well as two young boys who couldn’t be in my grandparents’ backyard because they didn’t clean up after the dogs, we were in the front yard and for some reason decided to go into one of the neighbor’s backyard where they had a tree house. I don’t know how high up it actually was, but I know I felt like we were at the top if a sequoia. And that neighbor must not have been home since we went up to that tree house a couple of times that day. (Either that or we were also playing with one of their kids, but I think it was just my cousin and me the time with the tree house.)
 
Just folding up my mouse suit and ears…poor old Legend will not let go of the past when I knocked on his door trick and treating with my children dressed as a family of field mice and squeaked angrily when he told us to buzz off.
The Legend is a miser who won’t share his candy.
 
Greensfiled A Lawsuit is not an evil doppelganger rather it is what Greenfields and her baby mice did to the poor ole legend
 
TheLegend, when made to take the stand, pleaded the fifth. That is, he pleased the 5th Avenue candy bar. While the judge accused him of jury tampering, the sweet-tooth-sated jurors disagreed.
 
Mvitus is a cryptozoologist, who spends his days searching for Bigfoot, Sasquatch, and the Loch Ness Monster. His mother in law hates it, but it is his passion.
 
I’m married? Woohoo! I’m not gonna die alone. (And truth be told, searching for Sasquatch actually sounds pretty neat.)

Maximillian75. Or should I say Maximillian75? Maximillian75 began his life as a clone trooper on Kamino. During the Battle of Geonosis his control chip was damaged and he looked in horror upon the deaths of his fellow clones. When they got back to base, he made a plan to escape The Republic and got his chance during Order 66 when his fellow troopers were focused on the Jedi. Making his way to The Outer Rim,he encountered a wormhole and found himself on Earth, his ship broken, and the inhabitants somehow speaking his language. Realizing his luck, and perplexed at Earth’s knowledge of his former galaxy’s history, he settled in and began a search for ET, hoping the alien might explain things to him.
 
MVitus 's missis is missing since Monday.Yes,she was always snapping at his heels continuously about little chores that would use up his one precious day off slaughtering pigs at the Abattoirs ,his one day to try and relax…but no, he really does actually miss her,well her famous cooking to be exact.
 
oh my, greenfield, i can tell by essence of your glow, the charm of your smile, the crisp whisper of your voice, that you are God.
 
IWantGod was originally named Blue Moonlight Flower Child. Daughter of a pair of stoned out hippies in a northern California pot growing commune, she struck out in the 80’s to find some meaning in her life. Happening on a Michael Jackson concert, she thought she had found her deity. Downing a bottle of wine with the Gloved One sang Billie Jean and Man in the Mirror, she tried to moonwalk across the stage and fell into a group of Carmelite nuns accompanying a sixth grade class at a local Catholic grade school. Flower Child broke several ribs in the fall. Taking pity on the poor, drunken, disheveled woman, the nuns took her home to their convent where she spent several quiet weeks in rest and recuperation. So impressed was she by the nuns joyful presence, that she decided to change her name to what now appears on CAF and has sworn off cheap wine forever. She still does, however, do the moonwalk to Michael’s music in her kitchen when no one’s looking.
 
Joeybaggz is the lost 13th apostle condemned to live until the end of world for his penance.

He was punished, all references of him being removed from scripture, for doing absolutely nothing during Jesus’s ministry and smoking pot…
 
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Wait a second. IWantGod is a she?

And what you’re saying about joey makes sense. Gotta have SOMEone from that time still alive, cuz, you know. Reasons.

The way IWantGod found out this information ties into her days at the convent. While still recovering she heard a voice. (That of a 6th grader complaining about, you know, 6th grade stuff.) Thinking it was a sign, she stumbled to a bookshelf where she found an old piece if parchment with invisible ink. (Drunken double vision allowed her to read it since double vision is a higher form of vision. Right?) It was there that she found a vague reference to “He that smoked with the bag.” Seeking more information about this mysterious man, she came across the Joeysuits. (Pronounced Joh-ee-soo-itts).
 
Okay, so I might have misinterpreted Jesus’ saying that He was from the Most High. Mea Culpa!!!

mVitus was once a librarian in a Carmelite convent.
 
@joeybaggz Joey’s real name is Joseph Arnold Philippe Marvin Kent XVI and got the nickname “Joey Baggz” when his first job was as a cashier at the local grocery store and he bagged the groceries people purchased. The manager could never remember what Joey’s responsibilities at the grocery store were supposed to be, to which his coworkers would reply, “Joey bags.” The frequent repetition of this statement became so greatly associated with Joey himself that it became his nickname, and Joey decided to make it extra cool by adding a second g and a z at the end. One day as he was coming out of work, he saw a tie dyed van parked outside, where the local rock band that had been touring through his hometown was stopped. He talked to the musicians and they agreed to let him tour with them and be their opening act if in exchange he would clean their guitars and feed the band’s dog, Lil Rascal. Joey agreed and left to tour with the band. Lil Rascal had never been better fed and the band’s guitars had never been cleaner. Joey became best known for his song, “Bag 'Em 'Til Ya Drop,” describing the responsibilities of his former job set to a catchy tune. However, when his parents found out he let to tour with the rock band, they took him off the tour and he settled back in to life at home. The band members let him keep Lil Rascal, and to this day, JoeyBaggz still writes music inspired by the adventures of grocery store shoppers.
 
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