Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III

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Milt gets the cigars on account of being a Cuban spy, the Budweiser because he’s a double agent for Germany, and the bunny suit because he’s a triple agent for Santa Claus.
 
mVitus is a top notch private detective. Currently he is working on solving the question, where does Milt get the mushrooms?
 
Now keeping it down, that’s another story!

Greenfields, aka Hog Callin Sally, was busted last week by Interpol for selling her infamous Century Eggs. Seems that the International Coalition for the Preservation of Endangered Wildlife found out that Sally was getting here eggs from a highly endangered species of duck found only in the area around Queensland, Australia, and the few eggs that survived from the few endangered ducks that laid them, were all that is left to repopulate the species. Upon her arrest she was asked by the media to comment. Sally was noncommittal and said something about breaking eggs to make an omelet.
 
Joeybaggz starred in the role of Boo Radley in the movie ‘To Kill a Mockingbird’…he was chosen because he didn’t need any makeup to play the part…
 
Boldlygo has not been posting here lately because he was in the local drunk tank. Police are still undecided to charge him with attempted murder and hate speech. When Boldlygo was arrested he wandering the mall throwing peanuts into the air screaming down with peanut allergies.
 
The north wall of mVitus’ living room is covered with STOP signs he - er - confiscated from local intersections…
 
That reminds me. There is a street sign that’s blown over near where I live.

*20 minutes later*

Boldlygo was tried today. Not for hate speech/attempted murder, but because while in the drunk tank, he burst the water pipes so that he could live out a lifetime dream of being Jaws.
 
Greenfields has a nose picking obsession. Greenfield’s obsession is so bad she once gassed the patrons of a movie theater so she could pick their noses, while dressed as tinker belle.
 
Mate,that’s overstepping boundaries…😠

Talking of overstepping,the Legend was seen one night dancing in a circle
under a full moon on a hill with the wee folk ,his eye coveting a bag of gold nearby .
The Legend hasn’t been in his right mind ever since.
 
BoyGenius is great at academics, except for literature. He often places commas after every word, not knowing where they go, and has yet to finish a single fiction book, claiming it’s all sentimental garbage. When asked what the green light in The Great Gatsby symbolized, he replied, "It means ‘build a road, you dumb dumb.’ " The teacher at first thought that to,be very insightful until BoyGenius stated he meant a literal road.
 
mVitus joined this site shortly after his dentist told him that he had gingivitis. And the rest is log in history…
 
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I feel like there’s a joke in there I’m missing.

The Legend was recently spotted along the Alcan, still not in his right mind, muttering something about brined turnips. On an unrelated note, Big Turnip, the Turnip Lobby, has recently launched a multi-million dollar ad campaign. Apparently some anonymous donor gifted them over the phone at 849-555-6274 and said, “Spread the good news.” On a second unrelated note, TheLegend’s parish phone number is 894-555-6279 and he has a hard time distinguishing nines and fours ever since The Event.
 
Don’t tell anyone, but I hear that on moonless nights, when everyone else is asleep, you can sometimes catch a glimpse of mVitus skipping down the street wearing a rainbow clown wig.
 
Shazirah sells train tickets …for a miniature train ride for children,and children at heart and model train enthusiasts.🚂
 
Milt recently applied to join a cloistered order of Trappist Monks. Subsequently, two of the monks at the Trappist monastery were thrown out of the order for breaking their vows of silence when they fell on the floor holding their sides and laughing out loud for over seven minutes at Milt’s request.
 
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