Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III

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MVitus and the Legend are both busy feeding the animals at the zoo,and plenty of sweeping up afterwards to do.
(Australia mVitus ,top of the world )
 
Greenfields drives a 2dr Ford that has a supercharger sticking out of the hood.
 
mVitus is wondering how long he must sit on his chocolate Easter eggs before they hatch,
 
Milt bought dozens of chocolate rabbits for the grandkids…bit off all the ears, and told them the earless rabbits were Easter Hamsters…
 
boldlygo, disillusioned by the teachings of his local church, joined a congregation of Christians who believe in worshipping God by handling snakes. Last night, enthused by a rousing version of the hymn, “Just a Closer Walk with Thee”, he leaped into a pit containing twenty seven live adult rattlesnakes and started doing an enthusiastic version of “the electric slide.”
Doctors are hopeful the antivenom will afford boldlygo a chance at a full recovery. Right now the odds are 50-50,
 
Actually, I had the hungries after my Lenten fast…all 27 rattlesnakes tried to bite me, but I’ve got tremendski reflexes…they ended up dusted in cornmeal and pan-fried…

Joeybaggzzzzz also had the hungries, and joined me…he used so much hot sauce that for the first time in his life, he couldn’t sleep…the heartburn kept him up all night.
 
Boldlygo’s new book, “Rattlesnake Recipes (or how I learned to love the spicy serpent)” is now out and available on Amazon Prime. Unfortunately, Gordon Ramsey has filed suit as he claims boldlygo stole his recipe and is trying to capitalize on Ramsey’s name and success. Arbitrators have decided that the two will have a cookoff. They will have to kill the rattlers and pan fry them for a live audience while blindfolded Seven large corporations have lined up to sponsor this live event, and Las Vegas has the rattlers as a 250 to 1 favorites to win the contest.
 
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joeybaggz tried to rob a bank, but got locked in a safe. He is still there, eating cash and trolling CAF.
 
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Only MCH1 knows of Joeybaggz predicament as he saw the drama unfold ,working as a bank assistant.He’s musing over whether he would make more profit claiming a reward or going for the ransome option.
 
Greenfields is Joeyhaggz’s accomplice. It is partly his fault that Joeybaggz is locked in the safe. He was supposed to help, but was distracted at the moment they entered the bank. He could not resist following the smell of doughnuts to the break room. While Joeybaggz attempted to do the work, Greenfields happily eat a bakers dozen doughnuts.
 
Bartholo doesn’t realise I Greenfields am a she,a descendant of Royal Egyptian feline blood 😼
…and would never stoop to eating a donut…unless it was very soft and had a red jam centre…😻
 
MCH1 is one inch long ,as tall as the fabled Tom Thumb …and is still carried around holding onto his (?)
Mothers hat rim .
 
Greenfields, aka ‘Hogcalling Sally’, soon tired of her job as an air raid siren…she longed to be on the farm again, doing something really useful…one day, as she was singing [?] in the shower, a neighbor noticed mice running from the area in a panic, and told ‘Sally’ about it later that day…
“What a gift”, she thought…“I can help the farmers get the mice out of their barns!”
She returned home to the family farm, greeted everyone, and went to the barn to demonstrate her newfound talent…she started singing in a falsetto, and the mice evacuated the area immediately…knowing that her voice really carries, she increased the volume, and all the mice within miles ran for the hills…
Unfortunately, when she again increased volume, she went up an octave…every window within a five-mile radius shattered…she was run out of the area by the angry farmers, but, weeks later, was offered a huge commission by the now-millionaire local glass dealer if she’d come back and do an encore…
 
Unfortunately, boldlygo is an investor. A bad one. As her investor, boldlygo invested all the money Greenfields earned from the glass dealer into a pyramid scheme. ‘Hogcalling Sally’ has to return to her job as an air raid siren. boldlygo has no such opportunity. He now works for ‘Pete’s Portable Potties’.
 
Bartholo quit his job and embarked on a career as a fashion designer. His first showing unfortunately was an unmitigated disaster. Because of his difficulty identifying female from male as evidenced by his earlier faux pas with Greenfields, his first line of evening gowns were mistaken for coveralls and jumpsuits designed for truck driving members of the teamsters union, and he was laughed out of the Paris spring show. Bart is now back to his original career as a barker for the ostrich lady on the southwest Louisiana carnival circuit.
 
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(name removed by moderator) is black listed by hot dog vendors ever since the great Kentucky 11 and 63/64 ths. hot dog riot of 2006
 
TheLegend is the state President of the Taylor Swift fan club and has 146 posters of her in the garage and a collection of 144 Taylor Swift bobble head dolls. TL also has gone to all the Swiftie concerts and has 86 autographs. Local authorities have taken notice and Ms. Swift’s bodyguards have TL’s picture everywhere Ms. Swift performs. TheLegend will not be deterred however.
 
The (name removed by moderator) was a successful youth football coach. In five years he put up an impressive 21-4 record. He then moved up to HS football, and in two years finished two 10-1 seasons. The local junior college took notice, and hired him as their new head coach. Unfortunately it did not work out. After a horrendous 0-12 season he was let go.
 
Bartholo is the head of the Italian mafia. He goes to confession 5 times a day because he feels guilty. And he is often seen trying to buy his way into heaven.
 
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