Tell an Outrageous Lie about the Previous Poster, Vol. III

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Boldlygo told his wife he was going out golfing. She has not heard from boldlygo for the last three months. Apparently After a few wrong turns and a high speed police chase boldlygo go is now peacefully golfing in the so called emerald triangle.He would call but he forgot his phone number. And boldlygo has yet to find the 74 inch shovel from his golf cart`s tune up.
 
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TheLegend just made Santa’s ‘naughty’ list…he used a red strobe light to lure Rudolph to his cave in northern Saskatchewan, and then feasted on barbecued reindeer for the next three days…
 
What is the secret to Boldlygo’s Peppermint Frost Holiday Cocktail??..Ice cubes made from Christmas tree water.
 
1Lord1faith found that secret out when coming to Boldlygo’s to arrest him with an other officer on charges of theft from a costume store and smuggling reptiles from Zimbabwe.
 
Thought the Gov as he took another puff of that there toenail fungus mushroom rolly…
 
For years now Greenfields has made embroidered ‘coexist’ t-shirts to sell on college campus’ and at concerts. She’s had limited success because of her choice of t-shirt colors. Recently she decided to branch out into other mediums of “fabric art”. She wants to crochet rastacaps, but she wants to do so using her own unique ‘color signature’.
 
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1Lord1Faith , known to his friends as ‘Goober’ because of his idolization of Goober Pyle, has invested his life’s savings in producing a Christmas album - ‘A Mayberry Christmas’ … he’s doing all the vocals, and the band consists of locals playing a washboard, a crosscut handsaw, and a kazoo, with two youngsters playing spoons in the background…
 
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It is Boldlygo’s secret wish to join the band of 1Lord1faith…and become famous for his dancing…
sadly he doesn’t realise that his ‘groovy’ dancing is
more akin to the jerking movements of a preying mantis just before they strike
 
Greenfields aka Queen Raver duped 1Lord1Faith out of the copyrights for his Mayberry songs. Greenfields plans to unleash the noise at her next rave.
 
Sitting beside his mother and grandmother,the Legend is knitting Christmas stockings with amazing dexterity
…they’ve got a quota to fill for the orphanage on the next street and are running out of time.Day in and day out
they knit,sustained by Tootsie rolls and a flaggan of rum…the only sound is of clicking and curious humming sound from The Legand out the corner of his mouth.
 
Bored by the humdrum life of a purveyor of country music trying to hype her Mayberry Christmas album, Greenfields has decided to put her love of vocalization and her animated dance routines to good use and has decided to become a cheerleader for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Resurrecting her high school cheerleader skirts and pom poms and modifying the colors to black and gold, Greenfields has been diligently practicing a wide variety of cheers in anticipation of this Sundays huge game against the hated New England Patriots. Confident of her abilities as a focus of enthusiasm for the Steel City faithful, she has tickets for a flight to Pittsburgh to begin a new chapter in her life. Most of us in the Steel City are rooting for her and hoping she doesn’t OD on stimulants when she gets here and discovers the Steelers don’t have cheerleaders.
 
Joeybaggz is gutting geese for Christmas in a little shed not far from the where the Legend knits.
He wipes away a tear with a bloodied hand and blows his nose with a fistfull of goose-down.Betsy-boo with her fascinating gappy teeth and endearing lisp has once again turned down proposals of marriage for the 8th year in a row.Joeybaggz had put a lot of thought into this years proposal ,holding Betsy-boo’s hand on blended knee in the catching pens of startled geese.
 
Greenfields and Betsy-Boo have collected the blood from a dozen slaughtered geese and using some green 60 pound bond paper and glitter have gone into the manufacture of Christmas cards. The business was in its fledgling state when activists from PETA raided their manufacturing shop in the basement of Betsy-boo’s cozy little forest bungalow and burned it to the ground. The whereabouts of both women are unknown at this time.
 
Edible Christmas cards 🙂 Great idea.Joeybaggz ,head of the PETA tribe ,unrecognisable after washing off years of goose gizzard and feathers and wearing a suit
was filled with rage at Betsy -boo turning him down yet again…and at Greenfields wonderful idea of edible Christmas cards that he took out that terrible deed.
Greenfields,ever resourceful,showed Betsy -boo the
amazing labyrinth of escape tunnels and private bar as they escaped unharmed from the flames.
 
Greenfields plans on riding her big wheel trike all the way to the capitol. On her journey she plans on attracting legions of followers. With these legions Greenfields will storm the White House by dancing their way in. Once inside Greenfields plans to demand that the national anthem be changed to the hit song off ,A Mayberry Christmas, The dog,the cat and a Christmas tree.
 
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Hurrumph…Penny-farthing , if you don’t mind 🧐 and yes ,okaaay Legend…you May ride along on your little tricycle if you promise Not to play the Bagpipes at every traffic light 😡
 
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:sushing_face: (name removed by moderator) comes on our treks to Scandinavia to help carry luggage…and when no ones looking,stuffs some of said fossil in his pipe and looks blissful .
 
If avocados perfume was of roses 🙂
(name removed by moderator) has a giant Christmas stocking attached to his mantelpiece at the chimney,fitted with interior shelves of beer,pickles onions and cheese where he plans to wait inside to film Santa on Christmas Eve
 
(name removed by moderator) is a werewolf :frowning_face_with_open_mouth::frowning_face_with_open_mouth:
 
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