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simonmic
Guest
If you don’t mind me saying.You sound a bit like a nun.
Here’s a clue to some of the different things i did.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=12702928#post12702928
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Here’s a clue to some of the different things i did.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=12702928#post12702928
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GuyNextDoor
Guest
Dear Simon
I can sense your despair as much as I know you want to believe in God, and the lack of faith has caused you a lot of pain within. You remind me a lot of myself. The similarities in our lives is uncanny. I was in great despair too and spent years being in the dark night of my soul, until a dear relative picked me up and helped show me how I am not opening my ears and eyes to seek Him all these time. When I realized that and tried to have faith, God became loud and speedy in answering sometimes. I say ‘tried’ for a reason because God wants us to try. Its not the result of having how much % of faith in you, but the effort He sees you put in trying to have faith and opening your eyes and ears. He knows our weaknesses and hardness of heart.
Go to God in trust for Him to help you grow in faith slowly but surely. Don’t look for feeling, emotions and anything of that sort during your prayers. Just pray in faith and hope. Forget about relying on your own intellectual capabilities to understand His ways. You cannot and neither can science. Even if your faith is as tiny as a mustard seed, have faith in God that it will become a great tree one day and many will seek shelter in you after that. How? Depends on how God intends to use you.
Since you shared the link to what you did in the past, I figured its only fair I share mine. Here’s most of what had happened to my life.There’s also another thing I didn’t add at that post because it bothers me how people may perceive me.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=12568695#post12568695
Guilt is our issue. And its the same guilt that has caused us to stray away from God because we think we won’t be forgiven. Its also the same guilt that caused us to distance ourselves from people because we are worried how people will perceive us. Even til now, I am worried how people in the Catholic Church will perceive me and thus I hardly talk or smile at them unless required at Mass. Lack of confidence and love for myself I guess. I am still undergoing counseling for all these guilt and anger. You should try it.
No one is required to confess their sins to you or you to them. Its history and forgiven by God. That’s what counts. We are all sinners, some done worse things than us. If they decide to judge you and not forgive you, that’s a huge debt they have to settle with God one day. Its not our business to judge them back, trying to know their sins.
Yes we need friends. So do I. I am a social failure because I couldn’t bring myself to smile or start a conversation with the Catholic community unless they offered a greeting to me first because I am overly worried how they perceive of me. And even if they did, I have very little to continue a conversation with them. I am still trying to open up. Its not their fault they didn’t walk up to us and greet us, simply because we are not opening our mouths to say something charitable such as a greeting.
None of these are God’s fault or His doing. He has said His piece, its up to the Catholic community to do with what He teaches. There is no ‘your kind’ or ‘my kind’, all of us fall short of grace. There’s only a believer and an unbeliever. I am as ashamed of my past as much as you do yours.
I can be your friend too and not judge you as much as I hope you do not judge my past. Sure we are living in different parts of the world, big deal. The distance is never the issue, its the quality of the friendship that matters. Take that hand of mine and don’t think for one second I offer it out of pity. I need a friend too, as much as you do.
God Bless
James
I can sense your despair as much as I know you want to believe in God, and the lack of faith has caused you a lot of pain within. You remind me a lot of myself. The similarities in our lives is uncanny. I was in great despair too and spent years being in the dark night of my soul, until a dear relative picked me up and helped show me how I am not opening my ears and eyes to seek Him all these time. When I realized that and tried to have faith, God became loud and speedy in answering sometimes. I say ‘tried’ for a reason because God wants us to try. Its not the result of having how much % of faith in you, but the effort He sees you put in trying to have faith and opening your eyes and ears. He knows our weaknesses and hardness of heart.
Go to God in trust for Him to help you grow in faith slowly but surely. Don’t look for feeling, emotions and anything of that sort during your prayers. Just pray in faith and hope. Forget about relying on your own intellectual capabilities to understand His ways. You cannot and neither can science. Even if your faith is as tiny as a mustard seed, have faith in God that it will become a great tree one day and many will seek shelter in you after that. How? Depends on how God intends to use you.
Since you shared the link to what you did in the past, I figured its only fair I share mine. Here’s most of what had happened to my life.There’s also another thing I didn’t add at that post because it bothers me how people may perceive me.
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?p=12568695#post12568695
Guilt is our issue. And its the same guilt that has caused us to stray away from God because we think we won’t be forgiven. Its also the same guilt that caused us to distance ourselves from people because we are worried how people will perceive us. Even til now, I am worried how people in the Catholic Church will perceive me and thus I hardly talk or smile at them unless required at Mass. Lack of confidence and love for myself I guess. I am still undergoing counseling for all these guilt and anger. You should try it.
No one is required to confess their sins to you or you to them. Its history and forgiven by God. That’s what counts. We are all sinners, some done worse things than us. If they decide to judge you and not forgive you, that’s a huge debt they have to settle with God one day. Its not our business to judge them back, trying to know their sins.
Yes we need friends. So do I. I am a social failure because I couldn’t bring myself to smile or start a conversation with the Catholic community unless they offered a greeting to me first because I am overly worried how they perceive of me. And even if they did, I have very little to continue a conversation with them. I am still trying to open up. Its not their fault they didn’t walk up to us and greet us, simply because we are not opening our mouths to say something charitable such as a greeting.
None of these are God’s fault or His doing. He has said His piece, its up to the Catholic community to do with what He teaches. There is no ‘your kind’ or ‘my kind’, all of us fall short of grace. There’s only a believer and an unbeliever. I am as ashamed of my past as much as you do yours.
I can be your friend too and not judge you as much as I hope you do not judge my past. Sure we are living in different parts of the world, big deal. The distance is never the issue, its the quality of the friendship that matters. Take that hand of mine and don’t think for one second I offer it out of pity. I need a friend too, as much as you do.
God Bless
James
M
Magdalena59
Guest
I don’t mind you saying that. I am not a nun just someone who once lived very sinful ways and then was drastically changed by Jesus and His Church. I am a long way from being a nun. I am just trying to work out my salvation like everyone else and stumbling many times a long the way.
I read the link of the post you made earlier and saw nothing in it that could not be forgiven. There is no sin that God won’t forgive. If there was we would all be in big trouble. We too need to forgive our own selves when we sin and remember we fail at times and God is there to pick us up.
Also, forgiveness works both ways. Maybe ask God to help you forgive the priest and give that priest or another priest a second chance and remember everyone else is a sinner also and we need understanding when we fail. And believe me we fail alot. Many times we don’t mean to or don’t even realize we are failing, hurting someone. We just get caught up in our own lives. Sad. It is not an excuse but just part of our sinful nature but God is so great and his mercy is new every morning and it is there for all of us.
Our priests are great and wonderful gifts from God but are sinners too and must go to confession also. I had a bad experience in the confessional once and didn’t want to go back but I am glad I did return because now I understand it is not the priest I am confessing to but God. The priest is the means or the agent in which God uses for me to make that confession.
Believe me we want you around. We want to be your friend. I would be your friend even if I knew what you did. God wants you around. God needs you. He needs hearts that need people and He knows just the place for people that are looking for a place to fit in. He needs us to help spread the message of love.
Also, He wants to carry you and guide you and carry your burdens for you.
God bless.
S
simonmic
Guest
I can’t forgive myself while the bad thoughts enter my mind. I can’t stand myself because they aren’t demons…they are me. I wish they were demons so i can make excuses for myself but they aren’t. There are no demons!..They are me and i will live and die knowing that.
P.S. please do not mention doctors and the such either.
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truetofaith
Guest
Did you ever try praying to God and say…" please Lord, if you are real show me a sign, because I want to believe in You." “It doesn’t have to be a vision or a voice, just do some thing that will show me it is from You, without a doubt.”
I 've known people who have seen these signs.
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truetofaith
Guest
Don’t only tell us you want an affirmation …tell God, as if He were really listening, and you may get your answer!
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simonmic
Guest
Yes, i did. I asked just that, but i asked for it to be certain it was Him. I also asked for my bad thoughts to go if possible and that i would be a good person if they did.
I changed it slightly after that…instead of “be a good person” i said, “i would try to be good”.
I couldn’t guarantee it you see?
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truetofaith
Guest
Not many people can guarantee they will never sin. I always say I’ll try.
Ask again with true sincerity & He just may show you that He is real!
M
Magdalena59
Guest
We all have to ask God to help us do what is right and good. No one can do it on his own.
Ask God to give you strength every day to do His will.
Also, have you tried a morning offering every day? I started that not too long ago. Not that it keeps me from sinning every day but it helps.
Here is one from St. Therese of Lisieux
A MORNING PRAYER WRITTEN BY ST. THERESE
O my God! I offer Thee all my actions of this day for the intentions and for the glory of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. I desire to sanctify every beat of my heart, my every thought, my simplest works, by uniting them to Its infinite merits; and I wish to make reparation for my sins by casting them into the furnace of Its Merciful Love.
O my God! I ask of Thee for myself and for those whom I hold dear, the grace to fulfill perfectly Thy Holy Will, to accept for love of Thee the joys and sorrows of this passing life, so that we may one day be united together in heaven for all Eternity.
Amen.
T
tonyrey
Guest
To be precise, John, God plays a major role in your belief in a Creator, not in your daily life. No one can pin Him down but He cannot be so remote if Creation is continuous. As St Paul pointed out, “In Him we live, move and have our being”…
As for the infants who suffer, how could they be exempt from the laws of nature?
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SuperLuigi
Guest
If you’re alive, it’s NOT too late.
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oldcelt
Guest
They aren’t…I just don’t believe that god has anything to do with life on Earth or our individual creation. God is the first cause and creation has continued on without his intervention.To be precise, John, God plays a major role in your belief in a Creator, not in your daily life. No one can pin Him down but He cannot be so remote if Creation is continuous. As St Paul pointed out, “In Him we live, move and have our being”…
As for the infants who suffer, how could they be exempt from the laws of nature?
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GuyNextDoor
Guest
Morning oldcelt. How did you arrive at that?
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oldcelt
Guest
Through study, observation and logic. If it is not the case then god becomes a cosmic puppet master…preordaining all future events and foreseeing each of our fates. Looking around me, I cannot assign this world to any benevolent intervention. It is our creation…first to last.
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GaryTaylor
Guest
You sound like a disgruntled employee of God.
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oldcelt
Guest
No, just one with great respect for the creator.You sound like a disgruntled employee of God.
O
onenow1
Guest
An interesting poem:
Twas the night before Jesus came and all through the house,
not a creature was praying, not one in the house.
Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care, In hopes that Jesus would never come there.
The children were dressing to crawl into bed, not one ever kneeling or bowing a head.
And Mom in her rocker with baby on lap, was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.
When out of the East there arose such a clatter. I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray, I knew in a moment this must be THEE DAY!
The light of His face made me cover my head, It was Jesus returning just like He had said.
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth, I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.
In the Book of Life which He held in His hand, was written the name of every saved man.
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name; When He said “It’s not here” my head hung in shame.
The people whose names had been written with love, He gathered to take to His Father above.
With those who were ready He rose without sound, while all of the rest were left standing around.
I fell to my knees, but it was too late, I had waited too long and thus sealed my fate.
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight; Oh, if only I had been ready tonight.
In the words of this poem the meaning is clear, the coming of Lord Jesus is drawing near.
There is only one life and when comes the last call, we will find that the Bible was true after all. ANON.
God Bless and enjoy !
Jesus came to show us a loving God, the way and the life; He gave us if only we believe.
Twas the night before Jesus came and all through the house,
not a creature was praying, not one in the house.
Their Bibles were lain on the shelf without care, In hopes that Jesus would never come there.
The children were dressing to crawl into bed, not one ever kneeling or bowing a head.
And Mom in her rocker with baby on lap, was watching the Late Show while I took a nap.
When out of the East there arose such a clatter. I sprang to my feet to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash!
When what to my wondering eyes should appear, but angels proclaiming that Jesus was here.
With a light like the sun sending forth a bright ray, I knew in a moment this must be THEE DAY!
The light of His face made me cover my head, It was Jesus returning just like He had said.
And though I possessed worldly wisdom and wealth, I cried when I saw Him in spite of myself.
In the Book of Life which He held in His hand, was written the name of every saved man.
He spoke not a word as He searched for my name; When He said “It’s not here” my head hung in shame.
The people whose names had been written with love, He gathered to take to His Father above.
With those who were ready He rose without sound, while all of the rest were left standing around.
I fell to my knees, but it was too late, I had waited too long and thus sealed my fate.
I stood and I cried as they rose out of sight; Oh, if only I had been ready tonight.
In the words of this poem the meaning is clear, the coming of Lord Jesus is drawing near.
There is only one life and when comes the last call, we will find that the Bible was true after all. ANON.
God Bless and enjoy !
Jesus came to show us a loving God, the way and the life; He gave us if only we believe.
C
Charlemagne_III
Guest
How does it show great respect for the Creator to say that he decided to create the universe and then walk away from his creation? The universe is an ongoing creation, and therefore, like any gardener, the great Gardner if he has respect for his creation will tend to it as he deems it needs tending. That would be the kind of Creator I would respect.
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oldcelt
Guest
No need for tending when you create all from eternity…is there? For the Christian God to do so would infer that he does not foresee all, preordain all future events, etc., all doctrines of The Church. It also infers that God exists in time. If those tenets are not true, which I believe, you are one step closer to Deism. I respect the creator, because I do not believe that he would create something as imperfect as humanity…we are simply a result of his initial creative act. An accident if you will.
B
Bahman
Guest
It is better than defining unavoidable fate for each individual, fatalism.
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