Thoughts on men’s purity rings

[jrgmercado]

Not just “these days”, society has always accepted that men would be sexually experienced and that women should be inexperienced (virgins)…hence the stereotypical “studs/sluts”

 

[Sarcelle]

Not just “these days”, society has always accepted that men would be sexually experienced and that women should be inexperienced (virgins)…hence the stereotypical “studs/sluts”

If men are supposed to be sexually experienced and women are supposed to be inexperienced, then from whom are the men supposed to gain their sexual experience?

This double standard requires the division of women into bad girls who men can use to get sexual experience, and good girls, inexperienced girls who men can use for marriage purposes. I doubt the Church teaches this.

 

[DarkLight]

I might add that much of the problem with purity culture is how young it starts. It’s uncommon for adults to choose something like a purity ring; most examples tend to involve them being bought for pre-teen or early teen children. While I approve of teaching your values to children, the way it’s done tends to not have a whole lot of benefit. Often as they get older these children see the purity ring as something they did for their parents or their church.

Purity culture hasn’t done a very good job of actually communicating its values on to the next generation. The children don’t grow up understanding sexuality or really having a good sense of their worth. They just grow up with a sense that their church told them sex is bad unless you’re married. Add to that that many of the restrictions on dating are completely ridiculous when the average marriage age is taken into account, too.

 

[CTBcin]

Thanks for the video.

This brings to mind purity balls. I wonder if this is part of purity culture.

Never heard of that before and had to look it up. That is really freaky… and a very disordered view of sexuality.

 

[jrgmercado]

In my experience, a “true alpha man” isn’t even concerned with being considered an “alpha man”. There’s a local radio personality that has this whole “alpha man” thing, refers to himself as “the General” and his production guy as “sarge”…it’s slightly humorous except that there are guys out there that think that way.

 

[Dolphin]

I am a very athletic male, I work out, I have a nice flow hair cut, I wear nice clothing, and I am a jokester and extrovert. This generally attracts the less virtuous while giving off a false-impression to the more virtuous that I’m just some party animal. It’s been a bit of a struggle sometimes to overcome the false perception.

Once people see me at like daily mass or something then they want to talk lol. It’s very strange dynamic.

So I think it can be hurtful to assume who someone is by appearance

 

[Anicette]

the fact that a wedding ring does not stop extramarital affairs is not a reason to refuse to wear one.

It is part of the marriage ritual, and a sign for the married people to remind of their promise and to mark the statute to the outside world.

I don’t see your point really…

 

[Dolphin]

The point was, don’t expect a ring to have magic powers. A wedding ring doesn’t stop adultery so why would a purity ring stop impurity. It is a symbol, not a good luck charm

 

[HopkinsReb]

If men are supposed to be sexually experienced and women are supposed to be inexperienced, then from whom are the men supposed to gain their sexual experience?

The only answer that logically fits the conditions is cougars.

 

[Anicette]

I don’t think that youngs people who wear them except it to have the magical power. Just to remind them of their vows and to made it clear to the outside world and the person they may be in Relationship with, after.

I am sure it reassure some parents on their teenager’s intentions.

I am also think that Inside protestants evangical circles, some people lack of old traditions that more older branchs of Christianlity, like Catholicism has (for eg, 1st communion, confirmation etc)… So they try to create their own culture and tradition and make it visible.

I also believe that their teology on marriage and sexuality is more weak than us (theology of the body) so they try to fill the gap with insisting on purity, as their conception of chastity is too vague and limited to what is forbidden outside of marriage.

 

[0Scarlett_nidiyilii]

And sometimes these churches don’t even hate sex, but the delivery of their message is clumsy.

 

[Anicette]

I don’t think these evangelical Churches hate sex. They hate extra marital sex.
Besides that, little to nothing is forbidden sexually Inside marriage, apart adultery. Not even divorce.

 

[jrgmercado]

There is a double standard and it has historically it’s always existed in society. In most religions, women are expect to be virgins and men were expected to be “experienced”. Once upon a time, the consummating of a marriage included the “bed sheet” test.

 

[Thomasbradley312]

I don’t like them. It is almost like broadcasting that you live a lifestyle God calls us too.
In a way that is attention driven and pride.

 

[DarkLight]

I also believe that their teology on marriage and sexuality is more weak than us (theology of the body) so they try to fill the gap with insisting on purity, as their conception of chastity is too vague and limited to what is forbidden outside of marriage.

And sometimes these churches don’t even hate sex, but the delivery of their message is clumsy.

Yeah, I think my point here is there’s often not much to their idea of sex other than “sex in marriage = good, sex outside of marriage = bad.” There’s no real theology behind it to explain why.

There is a double standard and it has historically it’s always existed in society. In most religions, women are expect to be virgins and men were expected to be “experienced”. Once upon a time, the consummating of a marriage included the “bed sheet” test.

This is probably easier to do in polygamous societies. Although societies where that was widespread also had to correct the balance one way or another, usually violently.

 

[DarkLight]

On the original topic: it’s not something I’d want to advertise too much. But if you want to, go for it. I could see something like a simple black band with a cross on it. My major concern would be if you’re of age and want to get married someday. Most people won’t recognize a purity ring, so it could end up either turning away potential partners or just looking very bad.

 

[Anicette]

Yeah, I think my point here is there’s often not much to their idea of sex other than “sex in marriage = good, sex outside of marriage = bad.” There’s no real theology behind it to explain why.

I also think this idea is simplistic, and there is many more point missing, but it isn’t wrong.
Of course there is theology behind it. Marriage as a way to copulate and procreate (sorry to presented it like that) is rooted in the Bible. And of course, outside, sexuality is not well ordained.

 

[DarkLight]

I also think this idea is simplistic, and there is many more point missing, but it isn’t wrong.
Of course there is theology behind it. Marriage as a way to copulate and procreate (sorry to presented it like that) is rooted in the Bible. And of course, outside, sexuality is not well ordained.

It’s related to my original point about purity culture not really taking root in the children. If all you teach children is rules, with no depth behind them, then you won’t keep children as they grow up and start to ask questions. “Because that’s the rules” only works for little kids; you have to give more for the mind and the heart to grasp on to as the children grow if you want to have any hope of them staying firm into adulthood.

 

[Dolphin]

What is this bed sheet test

 

[Dolphin]

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Not necessarily a “purity ring” but something I feel I want to wear on my middle finger, as a constant symbol of Christ. I also wear a crucifix and crucifix bracelet