Using most of the MGTOW Philosophy in choosing the right women?

[TheLowestHumanBeing]

Not all women who go to church are good. Learned from experience.

 

[Qoheleth1]

Clearly.

Your generalization could easily be applied to men, as well.

 

[TheLowestHumanBeing]

I also clearly said “not all women.” I did not say “All women.”
Sigh!

 

[Zzyzx_Road]

There is some validity to red pill, much as people denigrate it. My attitude about it is I took what was good and within my Catholicism and left the rest.

There are fabulous women out there. But unfortunately not nearly enough of them. I have also observed toxic women as well; they’re quite common in my experience.

Yet despite all that negativity, I still date. But not online, I’m not tall enough or good looking enough for that ride. Not to mention I’m a blue collar tradesman though I have a college degree. So Catholic Match did not work for me as it is just as visually oriented as the secular dating sites.

Here is the hard and difficult wisdom I have learned: that for someone like me, the only force that is capable of holding a marriage together today is what was already between the woman’s ears before I met her. That’s it, there is no social, religious or other external force capable of holding a woman to her vows if she does not want to be held by them. This is as true of Catholic and Christian women as it is of secular women. That is truly the worst effect of feminism on ordinary men like me, that it enables and celebrates women who blow up marriages for no other reason than they fell out of love. I grant the audience the presence of abuse, addiction and adultery. Dr Laura’s 3 A’s, I read that book, among many others. Yet these make up only half the occurrences of women initiating divorce. What about the rest? Jesus will spit those out of his mouth for the evil they do to their children by kicking their fathers out of the home, I truly believe that. But society celebrates them, you go girl! And people wonder why so many single and divorced men have PTSD over this. I don’t, but that’s because I took what was good in red pill and I have my faith in the Church. That’s why I can keep dating when I know men who’d rather play games or get drunk or smoke some 420. I know who they are and they’re not my friends anymore.

So when I get serious about someone, I vet like my life or death depends on it. Because it does. I understand there are no guarantees in life, the Lord says tomorrow is not promised to us, but I am determined not to be a Proverbs 21:9 man, that is all there is to it. I’ve seen too many of them, I’m not going to be that chump, no thanks, I’m sending that check back.

 

[TheLowestHumanBeing]

that for someone like me, the only force that is capable of holding a marriage together today is what was already between the woman’s ears before I met her.

What does this wisdom mean?
Please expound it further.

 

[Lea101]

Yes, because that’s what women do. They change and become bored with their husbands and start to see them as a burden. It’s especially likely to happen if another man is available

So you basically went on and on about how men are victims of sexism…and then you say this. Got it.

 

[Edmundus1581]

So when I get serious about someone, I vet like my life or death depends on it. Because it does. I understand there are no guarantees in life, the Lord says tomorrow is not promised to us, but I am determined not to be a Proverbs 21:9 man, that is all there is to it. I’ve seen too many of them, I’m not going to be that chump, no thanks, I’m sending that check back.

Well said! And when you vet, check out the parentage back through a couple of generations. That’s the closest you’ll get to some surety against being another male dumped when the woman gets bored with him.

Of course, many good women can rise against a poor upbringing, but if you see bad signs in her that are echoed in her parents (male or female!), then think long and hard.

Now that I think of it, this should be one sign of hope for my son and his girlfriend I referred to earlier. It’s a good family.

 

[Edmundus1581]

Edmundus1581:

Yes, because that’s what women do. They change and become bored with their husbands and start to see them as a burden. It’s especially likely to happen if another man is available

So you basically went on and on about how men are victims of sexism…and then you say this. Got it.

If your read my next para you will see that I say something similar of men. It’s human nature. The important difference for this discussion and marriage these days is the destruction of marriage as a lifelong contract and the legal imbalance according to whether it’s the husband or wife who wants out.

And of course there are differences in the way men and women become dissatisfied with their spouse and the reasons for leaving, but that’s a topic for another discussion.

 

[Lea101]

If your read my next para you will see that I say the same of men. The important difference for this discussion and marriage these days is the legal imbalance.

So you don’t espouse the basic premise of mgtow, that women in nature are manipulative and hypergamous? That the reason why they’re like that is because of the law?

And of course there are differences in the way men and women become dissatisfied with their spouse and the reasons for leaving, but that’s a topic for another discussion

No, it would be relevant in this discussion. Since you’re saying that women get bored and leave, one would have to look at why women actually leave.

Mgtow and radical feminism are really both sides to the same coin. Both value selfishness and blatant prejudice against their ““oppressors””. And any breakdown of a relationship is obviously the other person’s fault. And obviously the people who hold dear to this views are often people who are scarred by the opposite sex and are viewing the world through a particular lens.

If we’re talking about law, one can point out injustices. Although I would saw the law typically favours the one who gets paid less. Typically the woman though, but laws may be different depending on state. I recently watched a talkshow host explain how her rich husband left her for another woman, yet she’s still paying alimony to him since she makes more money. Yikes. This was not to say she was innocent because she wasn’t a pleasant person to him.

But that’s life. One person isn’t always at fault when a marriage flops. You can’t ignore that factor conveniently.

 

[LawyersGunsAndMoney]

I have been through with 20 women with this kind of experience.

Maybe the problem is you and the type of woman you attract. Do you have access to mental health services? I think you could benefit from some counseling.

 

[Sarcelle]

You come across as psychologically wounded which in turn attracts predatory people.

You have to focus on healing so at least for a while forget about trying to find a wife and focus on your relationship with God.

Try to find yourself a spiritual director.

Last but not least think of women as individuals. Not all are good and not all are of the devil. They’re as human as you are.

Just my two cents.

 

[Sarcelle]

You mention the widespread demonization of men and masculinity and then go on and accuse you son’s girlfriend of hurting your son in the future just because she’s a woman.

 

[Sarcelle]

So you don’t espouse the basic premise of mgtow, that women in nature are manipulative and hypergamous? That the reason why they’re like that is because of the law?

All women are psychopaths obviously.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I wouldn’t dream of asking a woman what she’s looking for in a man, and if such information were offered I’d do the opposite if I were really interested in her.

Well, that seems to be your issue then. Women are coy because you’re not asking straight up.

If you think that’s the way to treat women then fine, but plenty of us are fine with being asked and we will tell you and sometimes we will tell you without being asked.

I didn’t hesitate to let my future husband and every other guy I was seriously interested in know what my expectations were for a partner. Otherwise they would be floundering in the dark, as you say. I simply don’t have time to be playing guessing games with people. I got a good long marriage out of it so it worked for me.

The fact that you get defensive and need to provide “context” suggests to me this is a sensitive subject for you, which strikes me as odd. There should be nothing sensitive about people being honest and up front with each other. It’s been my impression that there are people in this world who actually on some level enjoy all the game-playing they purport to complain about. I’m not saying that either you or the OP are in that category necessarily, but they are out there, and I never had any use for them. Like I said, I don’t have time for that.

As for “mal-adjusted fatherless sons”, I met quite a few guys without fathers who managed to do just fine with attracting women. They treated their mothers nicely and had spent a lot of time around their mothers and female relatives, so they treated women nicely. I have no idea what you mean by women not wanting a “gentleman”. My husband was a gentleman, my father was a gentleman, both of them were very polite and nice to women, my husband even won the “Most Polite” award in his high school class. Neither one of them dated dozens of women but both of them found The One and had long happy marriages. Sorry if that wasn’t your experience, but it’s ridiculous to say that women in general don’t appreciate a man who’s a gentleman. Some women don’t, but some very good quality women do. I’ll be muting this now because there are so many just plain odd statements in the last few posts I’m left shaking my head.

 

[LawyersGunsAndMoney]

I have no idea what you mean by women not wanting a “gentleman”.

Unfortunately, a lot of guys have this idea in their heads. You hear it a lot: “girls only go for jerks…here I am, acting like a perfect gentleman, and I’m stuck in the friend zone.” While it’s true that some women go through a phase where they want to fix a jerk, it’s also that a lot of guys have this idea that being polite to a woman thereby entitles them to a date. Like, “ugh, why won’t this (expletive) (expletive) go out with me?! Doesn’t she see how (expletive) nice I am?!” It gives off a creepy, manipulative vibe that women can usually sniff out.

 

[Sarcelle]

I’ve met this type of guys.

The “I didn’t try to rape you so I must be a nice guy and am therefore entitled to have sex with you.” type of guys.

If you refuse they conclude that if you refused to have sex with them , the nice guys, then you must like jerks.

 

[LawyersGunsAndMoney]

The “I didn’t try to rape you so I must be a nice guy and am therefore entitled to have sex with you.” type of guys.

Pretty airtight logic, you gotta admit.

 

[Sarcelle]

Yes, because that’s what women do. They change and become bored with their husbands and start to see them as a burden. It’s especially likely to happen if another man is available. In previous generations marriage vows prevented an exit of their own volition, but that constraint has been removed. We live in a society which is constantly reminding us of men’s failures and women’s entitlement to better behavior from them, but no balance that would expect better behavior from the wife.

You talk about demonization of men yet go on to demonize all women.

 

[Lea101]

I have no idea what you mean by women not wanting a “gentleman”.

This basically sums up modern dating, haven’t you heard?

Conservative men and women look at the people who have fundamentally opposing beliefs, sigh and say ‘they don’t want x, y or z’. Instead of you know…looking at each other. Lol.

 

[jzea1992]

What constitutes a “traditional woman”?