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PatienceAndLove
Guest
That would be most helpful!Nope, I don’t. I can rant more especially for you if you wish, as well.
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
YAY!!! Thank you!
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chevalier
Guest
All right. As a man, I’m not attracted to clothes which demean the woman. I feel offended by the idea that I’m expected to be appealed to by those sexualised clothes. They basically put me off. Most of the time they don’t even appeal to me physically, i.e. they don’t even biologically attract me. They just feel stupid and off-putting.
At the same time, it’s not like I like burkhas. It’s very nice that women try to look nice and dress nicely. It’s not like I don’t appreciate a nice shape, either.
But a nice shape and nice clothes are not the same as a sexualised outfit radiating or inviting disordered, unrestrained sexuality. A nice ladies business suit is a better enhancer than huggy low-riders with thong lines and a top with lots of belly and cleavage. In fact, it’s not about how much skin it shows but what image it’s supposed to give. It’s possible to wear more but be dressed less decently. My problem is with the sexualised designs. Some people have a problem with anything that stresses attractiveness. I don’t. But I have a problem with what stresses availability.In case of Catholic girls, dressing in ways making them look “accessible” is counter-productive. It basically gives a wrong impression since they are not sexually available unless you’re married to them, and it gets them the kind of attention they don’t want. I am far more impressed if they manage to look attractive without looking “accessible”, which I suppose is true of most Catholic men.
I think it’s not only a question of what girls want, but if they actually go for what they want. I think many of those girls who wear revealing or clingy clothes don’t want to be objectified, but they want to be respected. They just want to be noticed by men and they think they won’t if they don’t wear revealing clothes. But the fact is that these days, a simple dress will stand out more than any revealing outfit, and what about a nice dress? Not necessarily a dress, but any modest but nice outfit will attract so much less attention of the bad kind (and what use is it apart from some elusive self-affirmation?), but how much more of the good kind?
On a personal note, I would feel more at peace talking to a girl wearing a dress and a feminine hairdo than to a vamp in low-riders and some sassy top. I would be able to respect her more and I would feel more respected by what she were wearing as well. I’d rather be at peace than unsettled, at least unsettled in the bad way that disturbs peace. It’s certainly nice to be attracted, charmed, captivated, enthralled, dazzled and mesmerised. But it’s not notice to think someone’s trying to control us through our sexual functions.
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mesquite_magic
Guest
This site is great for those who want to be modist but a little more fashionable.
modbeclothing.com/
The prices are comparable to Old Navy. You can find Mobe co-ops online to help you save money.
A cheaper option are men’s cotton undershirts. I buy the regular and the muscle shirts (wife-beaters for the younger generations). you get get them five for $10 at Target and Walmart. I dye them and wear them under tank tops. They’re longer than women’s shirts tend to be. They’re also thinner, so great for layering.
The muscle shirts are great for breastfeeding moms. Wear them under a tank in the summer. You just lift the bottom of the tank then slide the armhole of the muscle shirt out of the way. Much less expensive than breastfeeding clothes from maternity stores.
Kim
modbeclothing.com/
The prices are comparable to Old Navy. You can find Mobe co-ops online to help you save money.
A cheaper option are men’s cotton undershirts. I buy the regular and the muscle shirts (wife-beaters for the younger generations). you get get them five for $10 at Target and Walmart. I dye them and wear them under tank tops. They’re longer than women’s shirts tend to be. They’re also thinner, so great for layering.
The muscle shirts are great for breastfeeding moms. Wear them under a tank in the summer. You just lift the bottom of the tank then slide the armhole of the muscle shirt out of the way. Much less expensive than breastfeeding clothes from maternity stores.
Kim
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Kuryakyn
Guest
The link just goes to the “introductory” splashscreen and wasn’t taking me to the site-- does it do this for you too?
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
I clicked products, and had no problemThe link just goes to the “introductory” splashscreen and wasn’t taking me to the site-- does it do this for you too?
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cathyt
Guest
How about a suggestion for modest yet fashionable maternity clothes? It seems like everything really emphasizes the womanly shape and so is very low-cut and emphasizes the breasts a little beyond my comfort level.
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Jay2
Guest
To be the “Devil’s Advocate” (as I often am… )… and not to lump anyone here into this line of thought…
Where are the PARENTS when these girls are buying this wardrobe?? Not the Mom or Dad, or the freshly re-charged “debit card”… the PARENTS?
There is no way a 13 - 17 year old girl can afford to buy this stuff on her own. I don’t care if she flips burgers 6 hours after school, sells cheap jewelry at the mall, or baby-sits every night… somebody’s got to be subsidizing the purchases!
Quite honestly when I see the young girls wearing the “Plumber’s crack” jeans showing butt-floss undies, and having their boobs hanging out, or belly showing… I look at the Mom!
It seems that Mom is usually going through her own mid-life crisis, and dressed similarly (and can’t pull it off BTW), or just whips out the Visa card to shut up her whiney daughter (who has total manipulation over Mom who doesn’t know how to deal with her)…
Sad story, and I see it a LOT…
It’s supply & demand. As long as there’s a market, this stuff will be available. Don’t buy it, and stand strong to your morals.
)… and not to lump anyone here into this line of thought…Where are the PARENTS when these girls are buying this wardrobe?? Not the Mom or Dad, or the freshly re-charged “debit card”… the PARENTS?
There is no way a 13 - 17 year old girl can afford to buy this stuff on her own. I don’t care if she flips burgers 6 hours after school, sells cheap jewelry at the mall, or baby-sits every night… somebody’s got to be subsidizing the purchases!
Quite honestly when I see the young girls wearing the “Plumber’s crack” jeans showing butt-floss undies, and having their boobs hanging out, or belly showing… I look at the Mom!
It seems that Mom is usually going through her own mid-life crisis, and dressed similarly (and can’t pull it off BTW), or just whips out the Visa card to shut up her whiney daughter (who has total manipulation over Mom who doesn’t know how to deal with her)…
Sad story, and I see it a LOT…
It’s supply & demand. As long as there’s a market, this stuff will be available. Don’t buy it, and stand strong to your morals.
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mesquite_magic
Guest
On one hand I agree with you. I used to take care of a 5 y/o whose mom dressed her like mimi Britney Spears.To be the “Devil’s Advocate” (as I often am…
Where are the PARENTS when these girls are buying this wardrobe?? Not the Mom or Dad, or the freshly re-charged “debit card”… the PARENTS?
There is no way a 13 - 17 year old girl can afford to buy this stuff on her own. I don’t care if she flips burgers 6 hours after school, sells cheap jewelry at the mall, or baby-sits every night… somebody’s got to be subsidizing the purchases!
Quite honestly when I see the young girls wearing the “Plumber’s crack” jeans showing butt-floss undies, and having their boobs hanging out, or belly showing… I look at the Mom!
It seems that Mom is usually going through her own mid-life crisis, and dressed similarly (and can’t pull it off BTW), or just whips out the Visa card to shut up her whiney daughter (who has total manipulation over Mom who doesn’t know how to deal with her)…
Sad story, and I see it a LOT…
It’s supply & demand. As long as there’s a market, this stuff will be available. Don’t buy it, and stand strong to your morals.
On the other, I went to school with a girl from a VERY strict religion. She wasn’t allowed to cut her hair, wear make-up, or wear pants. Her skirts had to be ankle length. She saved up her allowance and babysitting money then bought all this stuff from the mall. She kept it in her locker and changed when she got to school.
It’s a fine line being a mom. Too strict and your kids rebel. Too lenient and your kids find trouble. I pick my battles. You want pink hair, yey, cool. Belly-button piercings and tatoos, you have to wait until you’re 18. I’m lucky that my dd and step dd don’t like body hugging clothes, but poor dd, no matter what she wears the boobs are THERE.
Kim
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puzzleannie
Guest
catechists who are also parents have reported they have scoured stores in our area and it is impossible to find a modest white dress for Confirmation. We are suggesting a white cotton skirt (worn with a slip) and a pastel top or tee, they already know they must have a cami or tank under a badly cut top, and no bare midriffs. We took the opportunity to have a discussion about prom dresses as well since they are shopping for these at the same time.
Granddaughter and members of her parochial school-based GS troop approached the mall department stores near them about modest clothing, and did have some success, and with the store’s cooperation have been putting on fashion shows, this has gone on for a couple of years now.
what is the deal with the tops cut like maternity wear, in sleazy fabrics? even if you were not concerned about modesty, how about “flattering”, “wearable” and “will last through 3 washings”.
Granddaughter and members of her parochial school-based GS troop approached the mall department stores near them about modest clothing, and did have some success, and with the store’s cooperation have been putting on fashion shows, this has gone on for a couple of years now.
what is the deal with the tops cut like maternity wear, in sleazy fabrics? even if you were not concerned about modesty, how about “flattering”, “wearable” and “will last through 3 washings”.
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sanctamaria17
Guest
One thing I cannot stand is the low-hip, super flared jeans. I try to be modest but I can’t bend down without having my undies show and it’s really embarrassing. Also, they make them too long, and I end up tripping on them. They don’t even look good on the majority of women I’ve seen wearing them. Not that they’re bad looking, but the jeans just don’t flatter a woman’s body at all. I have to wear long t-shirts with them to make them modest but I like to wear shorter t-shirts and can’t, because when I raise my arms, they show my midriff.
I also hate it when they say to girls, you have to show cleavage to get a guy. This is so blatantly untrue, because I usually wear jeans and a t-shirt and I’ve been with my boy for nine months. So many of my girlfriends are so nervous, because they’re afraid of what boys think. I try and tell them that it doesn’t matter, but they’re like, “Katie, shut up, you’re pretty” and I try to tell them that they’re gorgeous but they don’t listen to me because they think I’m only trying to appease them. The whole, “Guys don’t like me” thing makes me sad because these girls are intelligent and very good people, not to mention gorgeous and they’re too good for a lot of the guys who go to my school. The whole thing about girl’s clothing is far from liberating. It just gives the guys free reign to stare at our breasts and girls insecurity about their bodies.
I also hate it when they say to girls, you have to show cleavage to get a guy. This is so blatantly untrue, because I usually wear jeans and a t-shirt and I’ve been with my boy for nine months. So many of my girlfriends are so nervous, because they’re afraid of what boys think. I try and tell them that it doesn’t matter, but they’re like, “Katie, shut up, you’re pretty” and I try to tell them that they’re gorgeous but they don’t listen to me because they think I’m only trying to appease them. The whole, “Guys don’t like me” thing makes me sad because these girls are intelligent and very good people, not to mention gorgeous and they’re too good for a lot of the guys who go to my school. The whole thing about girl’s clothing is far from liberating. It just gives the guys free reign to stare at our breasts and girls insecurity about their bodies.
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Jason_Hurd
Guest
I have a question: is it more expensive nowadays to sew clothes oneself than to buy them? I ask because when I was a boy, my mother made all my clothes and my brother’s herself from patterns, and we were by no means wealthy. Perhaps the answer to the clothing dilemma is to learn to sew. Also, I have tailor friends who say that girl’s and women’s clothes are easier to make than boys’ and men’s. I would think it would be a lot of fun to design and make your daughter’s First Communion dress yourself. I guess times have changed. Not only did my mother make our clothes, she made the sheets and pillowcases for our beds, gave us three hot meals a day and worked part-time as a secretary for a lumber company. She was from Texas and had learned the ‘country’ way of doing everything(i.e., from scratch), so she did not think there was anything unusual in what she did. Perhaps fabric is more expensive nowadays or something.
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AmberDale
Guest
No Jason, fabric is not typically more expensive. Especially if you don’t want to wear some of the stuff in the stores 
Problem I see is many mothers/daughter/sons/fathers don’t know how to sew anymore. I didn’t know, my mother doesn’t know, her mother doesn’t. Parents are not teaching their kids this art anymore. I’m learning slowly, from my SIL.
Problem I see is many mothers/daughter/sons/fathers don’t know how to sew anymore. I didn’t know, my mother doesn’t know, her mother doesn’t. Parents are not teaching their kids this art anymore. I’m learning slowly, from my SIL.
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SeekerJen
Guest
Yeah, if I want to learn to sew I’ll have to take a class. And I have absolutely no idea when I’d make time for that, or to sit down and sew the clothes. I’d love to know how, though, even if all I do is alterations on ready-made clothes (I’m very short with an odd figure so very few things fit off-the-rack).No Jason, fabric is not typically more expensive. Especially if you don’t want to wear some of the stuff in the stores
Problem I see is many mothers/daughter/sons/fathers don’t know how to sew anymore. I didn’t know, my mother doesn’t know, her mother doesn’t. Parents are not teaching their kids this art anymore. I’m learning slowly, from my SIL.
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mesquite_magic
Guest
Actually, fabric is pretty expensive, unless you have a Joanne’s 50% couponNo Jason, fabric is not typically more expensive. Especially if you don’t want to wear some of the stuff in the stores
Problem I see is many mothers/daughter/sons/fathers don’t know how to sew anymore. I didn’t know, my mother doesn’t know, her mother doesn’t. Parents are not teaching their kids this art anymore. I’m learning slowly, from my SIL.
Most fabrics start at $5 a yard. mutiply that by 3 yrds for a dress. Then $12 for a pattern (wait for those 99cent sales). Don’t forget to add the cost of thread, zippers, buttons, and interfacing. Of course, if you sew a lot, there’s machine maintinance at least once a year. The cheapest price for my cheap machine was $40 (not too bad, but still an extra cost).With stores like Walmart and Target, you can buy clothes a lot cheaper than you can sew them. Of course, then there is making time to sew…
Kim
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
True, but making your own clothes compared to buying them can be cheaper. Quality is usually better as well.
If you have a sewing friend, perhaps you can purchase the fabric and pay her a small amount to make the clothes for you? This is what I am doing. A friend of my mother’s is a seamstress, and I am purchasing the fabric and paying her to sew my dresses for me.
If you have a sewing friend, perhaps you can purchase the fabric and pay her a small amount to make the clothes for you? This is what I am doing. A friend of my mother’s is a seamstress, and I am purchasing the fabric and paying her to sew my dresses for me.
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AmberDale
Guest
Especially if you/person doing the sewing knows what you/they are doing.
And if you look at some of these fashions at walmart/target, I don’t want my daughter wearing some of it. 
I mean, really. This thread was about modesty, I thought. So if you are looking for nice clothes that are also modest, sewing is cheaper.Look for sales, and buy things on sale. Most things don’t take that much yardage. I have a dress that was made for me that needed 10 yards of fabric (it was a costume with a flaring skirt). The fabric was $1 a yard, and after all the fabric used w/grommets and thread. The lady was only charging me 25 dollars, (she was a friend) I sent her 50 dollars because if I bought this dress in the store it would have cost me over 150 dollars.
It all depends on what fabric you are buying, if it’s on sale and what you are making.
Now upholstry fabrin (like for dining room chairs) is CRAZY expensive!!! It’s like 50 bucks a yard (that is probably high but still)
I’ve also found nice fabric for less than 3.99 a yard. You aren’t going to use a whole spool of thread (typically).
I don’t know just my thoughts, if you wanted more modest nice clothes that won’t fall apart.
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ElizaE
Guest
I love Ann Taylor and Banana Republic. Before you say that they are too expensive, wait for their sales. I buy my professional clothing there and I definately don’t want my breast hanging out. I am a medical student and don’t want to bent down and give my patient’s a free show . I have bought cashmere, silk and good quality shirts there for under $20. I have bought beautiful pants there for $30. The truth is that you don’t need that much clothes to look stylish, just buy good quality clothes bought on sale that you can mix and match. Generally, layering clothes with a cute jacket or sweater makes all the difference and you look much more put together and yes modest. My favorite outfit: jeans, cute tee or shirt, a cute 3/4 sleeve jacket over the tee and a cute 1’’ heel (comfortable) or a cute flat will work as well. It is so easy to put together and people think that I took an hour figuring out what to wear.
I recommend Kohl’s for their jeans. They are only about $14 and hide my bum. I am a size 2 but 5’7 and it seems that everyone thinks that I should be short. Kohl’s has great jeans that are long enough for me (they also have regular length).
Good luck ladies
. I have bought cashmere, silk and good quality shirts there for under $20. I have bought beautiful pants there for $30. The truth is that you don’t need that much clothes to look stylish, just buy good quality clothes bought on sale that you can mix and match. Generally, layering clothes with a cute jacket or sweater makes all the difference and you look much more put together and yes modest. My favorite outfit: jeans, cute tee or shirt, a cute 3/4 sleeve jacket over the tee and a cute 1’’ heel (comfortable) or a cute flat will work as well. It is so easy to put together and people think that I took an hour figuring out what to wear.I recommend Kohl’s for their jeans. They are only about $14 and hide my bum. I am a size 2 but 5’7 and it seems that everyone thinks that I should be short. Kohl’s has great jeans that are long enough for me (they also have regular length).
Good luck ladies
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AmberDale
Guest
My problem is Bannana Republic and those places don’t sell in my size.
I do like Kohl’s when they have sales (which are usually pretty good) and CJ Banks has sales (though they don’t advertise so you have to look through the racks)
I do like Kohl’s when they have sales (which are usually pretty good) and CJ Banks has sales (though they don’t advertise so you have to look through the racks)
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mesquite_magic
Guest
Especially if you/person doing the sewing knows what you/they are doing.
Those stores don’t just sell “hoochy” clothes. You can find some modest clothes, unless we’re thinking of modest clothes in a different way. To me “modest” could be jeans that don’t show half of your butt, and a t-shirt that doesn’t show clevage. To others it might be dressing like a Mormon in AZ City.
I can sew. I sew very well. The problem is that I don’t have time. I run a daycare business all day, and sew baby carriers at night. In between, I’m running six kids to Boy’s Chorus, Youth Group, and after school activities. And we’re on a budget, so Walmart/ Target t-shirts it is.
Kim
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