Why I reject Jesus

[Junebug999]

I pray for God to bless you, comfort you, and give you wisdom and lead you to understanding.

 

[saylo]

I reject Jesus – I do not believe in him. Do I intellectually acknowledge he exists … yes. But do I believe in him … no.
These are my reasons;

1. I was a catholic for some 24 years – they were the emptiest, most miserable years of my life. Jesus was always far away, he was never there

We all have moments such as these you mention. maybe the “miserable years of your life” can be explained by making poor choices. I know I have made a boatload. Life has its natural consequences.

“Positioning” of prayer or the actual place where we are standing, kneeling or sitting does not invalidate prayer. Our Lady of Lourdes story immediately comes to mind. Our Lady appeared to a poor class young girl at a grotto named, “Masabielle.” This Grotto was a place where soiled hospital linens and cloths were dumped as a kind of out-of-the-way landfill. The Grotto was not conducive to spiritual meditation …let alone prayer. But that is where the BVM chose to communicate with young bernadette, nonetheless.[/SIZ

Again, I refer to Lourdes. All of those novenas are not always answered in the way we expect. They could be answered when the time is right by Heaven’s calendar. Remember at Lourdes was told by BVM, “…I cannot promise you happiness in this life; but only in the next.” St. Bernadette has been dead now for some 130+ years and her body, to this day, lies INCORRUPT.

1. The gates of hell are always open – wide and open just waiting for you to slip up, whist heaven is always closed

Heaven’s gates are open infinitely w-i-d-e-r. Certainly, you are aware of Divine Mercy? That promise of a plenary indulgence by Jesus to Sr. Faustina gives us all just a glimpse of how W-I-D-E heaven’s gate is through His Divine Mercy. Jesus said that He did not come to Earth to call the “righteous” but He came for the sinners. All of his disciples were flawed men…ALL of them. No exceptions!

Tabernacle empty? Not hardly! When you receive Him in the Eucharist He and the Father and the Holy Spirit abide within YOU for as long as the bread is undigested. NOTHING in this life is so PROFOUND than to have God in the Holy Trinity abide within you and us. This is beyond our comprehension as mortal beings. Because we are living with “immortality” for those few precious minutes. We, as mortals, are joined with Eternity. Just think about it. Jesus tells us that He never gives us a cross that we are, as individuals, that is too heavy to carry. Apparently, you are given a cross that has great expectations of you…that is a blessing in disguise along with a sign of great confidence He has in YOU.

Some are given special crosses for special reasons. You will be known in Heaven by that “special” cross you have carried in this life. OK, so you complain…that’s natural. But that DOES NOT mean that you cannot pick it up again and still NOT lose a step. He knows our weaknesses. This is why we are given crosses that are aimed at our weaknesses. Every hero that ever lived overcame their particular “weaknesses.” That is what makes them “heroes.”

1. Those who are holy and special to Him are the vilest people I have ever known

NOBODY is MORE special to Him than YOU. Those that seem to be “…the vilest…” are going through THEIR own trials. They may or may not be “heroes”; it depends on if they pick that cross up after failing. As long as that cross is still there to be picked up then God HAS NOT GIVEN UP ON YOU. Those that abandon their cross have “given up on Him”…not the other way around.

Hell was NOT made for YOU or for me…it was made for satan and his angels…NOT US!!! Heaven was made for us from the beginning of time…it was promised to us even after the Fall of Adam and Eve. God promised us a Redeemer and the promised was fulfilled when He sent His Son to us.

How can you possibly think he “leaves you” when He waits in the tabernacle to become ONE WITH YOU at Communion? He comes to YOU…on a PERSONAL basis. How close can He possibly get? He is in UNION with you…now THAT’S CLOSE !!!

Refocus. Get Jesus back on your radar. You are NOT the only one who is being tested…WE ALL ARE. Pick up your cross and there is a crown waiting for you in Heaven…your name is spelled out on it with precious diamonds. The crown waits for YOU !!!

 

[ncjohn]

I can fully understand your views uglygal, as I spent over 25 years away from the church for the very reasons you give. It was only on finding some people who actually were living the gospel rather than beating me over the head with Jesus that I was willing to take half a chance to look again.

My own story is here. forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=231340 I can’t blame you at all, given your experiences, for coming to the conclusion you have. Who would want anything to do with the toxic God so many of the self-righteous beat people up with? Who would want to spend eternity with that God?

Fortunately God is much, much bigger than the people who think they can put Him in a box and speak for Him. They might have scarred you far too greatly at this point, and God knows that. It wouldn’t be the first time.

I wish you peace on your journey. Clearly you are looking for God to reveal Himself as He truly is, and He will if you keep looking.

 

[Godlovestrength]

I can fully understand your views uglygal, as I spent over 25 years away from the church for the very reasons you give. It was only on finding some people who actually were living the gospel rather than beating me over the head with Jesus that I was willing to take half a chance to look again.
Fortunately God is much, much bigger than the people who think they can put Him in a box and speak for Him. They might have scarred you far too greatly at this point, and God knows that. It wouldn’t be the first time.

Possibly so John and your caring shows through and through, however I believe that it is satan who has scared UG off by using other negative minded 's and by satan talking to UG itself about God in the humanistic way.

UG I sometimes wonder why you relate the way you do since you have some very strong understandings about God and His love, and at times it seems as though you believe and seem at times to realise this and so start to hide the real love you have for God.
Is this your fear I wonder! that you know that God is so omni potent that you fear His ability to relate / respond to your humanness and possibilities of your not being able to relate to others the way God wishes.
And yet isn’t this how it is with all of God’s people.

God bless you John and UG.

 

[bookgirl32]

whenever I think about Jesus, or deal with Him i always become frighteningly depressed and suicidal?

I know in her op the poster said something like, “people will just tell me I’m experiencing oppression” or something like that (desolation in Ignatian terms). My question is: could this really be a part of it? It’s just that some of her posts, when she’s speaking about how she’s feeling about Jesus, these seem like really really clear messages exactly opposite to what Jesus wants us to think. I dont’ want to too quickly go there, but it makes a lot of sense.

I’m NOT an expert on this, but have received some counseling from both a Catholic therapist and a priest on the subject. So I’d like to note, for the OP, that when I’m talking about oppression I’m NOT talking about possession. Oppression can and does happen to many many people and most just don’t recognize it.

I hope I’m okay in posting this. It’s a subject that probably deserves it’s own thread I guess. But some of what the OP has said has just sounded very like oppression, and not just normal human doubt.

 

[uglygal]

uglygal;3288155:

I reject Jesus – I do not believe in him. Do I intellectually acknowledge he exists … yes. But do I believe in him … no.
These are my reasons;

1. I was a catholic for some 24 years – they were the emptiest, most miserable years of my life. Jesus was always far away, he was never there

We all have moments such as these you mention. maybe the “miserable years of your life” can be explained by making poor choices. I know I have made a boatload. Life has its natural consequences.

“Positioning” of prayer or the actual place where we are standing, kneeling or sitting does not invalidate prayer. Our Lady of Lourdes story immediately comes to mind. Our Lady appeared to a poor class young girl at a grotto named, “Masabielle.” This Grotto was a place where soiled hospital linens and cloths were dumped as a kind of out-of-the-way landfill. The Grotto was not conducive to spiritual meditation …let alone prayer. But that is where the BVM chose to communicate with young bernadette, nonetheless.[/SIZ

Again, I refer to Lourdes. All of those novenas are not always answered in the way we expect. They could be answered when the time is right by Heaven’s calendar. Remember at Lourdes was told by BVM, “…I cannot promise you happiness in this life; but only in the next.” St. Bernadette has been dead now for some 130+ years and her body, to this day, lies INCORRUPT.

1. The gates of hell are always open – wide and open just waiting for you to slip up, whist heaven is always closed

Heaven’s gates are open infinitely w-i-d-e-r. Certainly, you are aware of Divine Mercy? That promise of a plenary indulgence by Jesus to Sr. Faustina gives us all just a glimpse of how W-I-D-E heaven’s gate is through His Divine Mercy. Jesus said that He did not come to Earth to call the “righteous” but He came for the sinners. All of his disciples were flawed men…ALL of them. No exceptions!

Tabernacle empty? Not hardly! When you receive Him in the Eucharist He and the Father and the Holy Spirit abide within YOU for as long as the bread is undigested. NOTHING in this life is so PROFOUND than to have God in the Holy Trinity abide within you and us. This is beyond our comprehension as mortal beings. Because we are living with “immortality” for those few precious minutes. We, as mortals, are joined with Eternity. Just think about it. Jesus tells us that He never gives us a cross that we are, as individuals, that is too heavy to carry. Apparently, you are given a cross that has great expectations of you…that is a blessing in disguise along with a sign of great confidence He has in YOU.

Some are given special crosses for special reasons. You will be known in Heaven by that “special” cross you have carried in this life. OK, so you complain…that’s natural. But that DOES NOT mean that you cannot pick it up again and still NOT lose a step. He knows our weaknesses. This is why we are given crosses that are aimed at our weaknesses. Every hero that ever lived overcame their particular “weaknesses.” That is what makes them “heroes.”

1. Those who are holy and special to Him are the vilest people I have ever known

NOBODY is MORE special to Him than YOU. Those that seem to be “…the vilest…” are going through THEIR own trials. They may or may not be “heroes”; it depends on if they pick that cross up after failing. As long as that cross is still there to be picked up then God HAS NOT GIVEN UP ON YOU. Those that abandon their cross have “given up on Him”…not the other way around.

Hell was NOT made for YOU or for me…it was made for satan and his angels…NOT US!!! Heaven was made for us from the beginning of time…it was promised to us even after the Fall of Adam and Eve. God promised us a Redeemer and the promised was fulfilled when He sent His Son to us.

How can you possibly think he “leaves you” when He waits in the tabernacle to become ONE WITH YOU at Communion? He comes to YOU…on a PERSONAL basis. How close can He possibly get? He is in UNION with you…now THAT’S CLOSE !!!

Refocus. Get Jesus back on your radar. You are NOT the only one who is being tested…WE ALL ARE. Pick up your cross and there is a crown waiting for you in Heaven…your name is spelled out on it with precious diamonds. The crown waits for YOU !!!

These are a very nice perspective of things … thankyou

 

[beckycmarie]

I know in her op the poster said something like, “people will just tell me I’m experiencing oppression” or something like that (desolation in Ignatian terms). My question is: could this really be a part of it? It’s just that some of her posts, when she’s speaking about how she’s feeling about Jesus, these seem like really really clear messages exactly opposite to what Jesus wants us to think. I dont’ want to too quickly go there, but it makes a lot of sense.

I’m NOT an expert on this, but have received some counseling from both a Catholic therapist and a priest on the subject. So I’d like to note, for the OP, that when I’m talking about oppression I’m NOT talking about possession. Oppression can and does happen to many many people and most just don’t recognize it.

I hope I’m okay in posting this. It’s a subject that probably deserves it’s own thread I guess. But some of what the OP has said has just sounded very like oppression, and not just normal human doubt.

Bookgirl, you’ve made a very good point. There are levels of demonization that do not include full possession.

I would advise “uglygal” to visit the help section over at the St. Pio Center for Deliverance Counseling. The Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance are especially helpful.

SPCDC Help Page

Seven Steps to Self-Deliverance

 

[distracted]

I have found that no matter how much education one has regarding the Catholic Church, doctrines, etc…, it does not mean that you have a personal relationship to Jesus Christ…

This is a very important point. I knew Jesus in my head for a long time because i was raised Catholic…& i even had that close relationship but i lost it… (I was young, what can i say?? )… Then, for years, i “knew” him in my head… but thought that he had rejected me because i had gone away from him (though not really intentionally…). anyway, it was the rosary that brought me back and a good priest, who told me about the Blessed Sacrament. God bless him. I feel indebted to Him… If it weren’t for spending time there, i don’t believe i would even be a Christian today (well, not a strong one anyway)… & one must be a strong one… since we humans are weaker than Satan… and will never prevail over him.

Only the Church prevails against the gates of Hell… which is why Jesus established it… and desires that all be in it…

 

[saylo]

This is a very important point. I knew Jesus in my head for a long time because i was raised Catholic…& i even had that close relationship but i lost it… (I was young, what can i say?? )… Then, for years, i “knew” him in my head… but thought that he had rejected me because i had gone away from him (though not really intentionally…). anyway, it was the rosary that brought me back and a good priest, who told me about the Blessed Sacrament. God bless him. I feel indebted to Him… If it weren’t for spending time there, i don’t believe i would even be a Christian today (well, not a strong one anyway)… & one must be a strong one… since we humans are weaker than Satan… and will never prevail over him.

Only the Church prevails against the gates of Hell… which is why Jesus established it… and desires that all be in it…

 

[saylo]

This is a very important point. I knew Jesus in my head for a long time because i was raised Catholic…& i even had that close relationship but i lost it… (I was young, what can i say?? )… Then, for years, i “knew” him in my head… but thought that he had rejected me because i had gone away from him (though not really intentionally…). anyway, it was the rosary that brought me back and a good priest, who told me about the Blessed Sacrament. God bless him. I feel indebted to Him… If it weren’t for spending time there, i don’t believe i would even be a Christian today (well, not a strong one anyway)… & one must be a strong one… since we humans are weaker than Satan… and will never prevail over him.

Only the Church prevails against the gates of Hell… which is why Jesus established it… and desires that all be in it…

I purchased a DVD about a middle-aged Catholic woman who was pronounced “clinically dead.” She had a Near-Death Experience (NDE).

She told about being whisked into a kind of star-surrounded “tunnel” and felt an entity pulling her forward in that travel space but could not see the entity.

As they traveled on she saw a tiny dot of light and it grew larger and brighter as they approached. Finally, she saw the “entity” was her angel. She saw Jesus, Mary Joseph and countless angels.

To make a long story short she was overwhemed by the POWER of God and the Archangel Michael.

The interviewer on the DVD asked her to compare God’s POWER as she could perceive it as opposed to Satan’s “power.” The interviewer suggested a graphic like "Let us say God is the Empire State Building as a measure of His power…and Satan as another building alongside…how many stories high would Satan’s building be?..10, 20, 50 stories high?

The woman answered, "No Satan’s power next to God is not even the size of a “grain of sand.”

 

[bcuster]

I reject Jesus – I do not believe in him. Do I intellectually acknowledge he exists … yes. But do I believe in him … no.
These are my reasons;

1. The gates of hell are always open – wide and open just waiting for you to slip up, whist heaven is always closed
2. The Eucharist is empty – I haven’t said this publicly before, but here I’ll say it – there is nothing there! There is no one and nothing there in the tabernacle. It is empty.
3. Jesus is a betrayer – he abandons you in your darkest hour and pretends you don’t exist and he can’t hear you because he is “testing you to see how much you love him”. In your darkest hour he performs his “loving” disappearing act
4. He provides false hope – “I am with you until the end of time” but I can’t stand you and abandon you in the darkest hour, “I came to give you life and life to the full” but the sorrow and injustice you suffer is MY doing, it is a cross I have specifically given to you to torment you with to test how much you love me
5. Those who are holy and special to Him are the vilest people I have ever known
6. He talks about love but these words are empty. The only reason I told him i love him at church was because if I didn’t I would automatically go to hell – his every command and every “kind” gesture must be paid for with human misery and damnation
7. Jesus is never on your side - he will side with anyone against you, he will choose anyone over you, he will seize any reason to leave you … and say he loves you while he does it

How do you explain this Jesus I have experienced? He is not consistent with the Jesus others describe here … why the difference? How do you justify how Jesus treated me or am I (as always) completely to blame and bad and wrong?

Uglygal,
(You are a truly beautiful soul)
You are in a lot of pain right now. This suffering runs deep. I have been in a similar place before, and it was desolate. You may be experiencing physical depression. Please check this out with your doctor.

I will be praying for you, even though you don’t believe that my prayers are worth their words. May you find peace in your heart and soul for you are truly beloved of God.

 

[Godlovestrength]

I purchased a DVD about a middle-aged Catholic woman who was pronounced “clinically dead.” She had a Near-Death Experience (NDE).

She told about being whisked into a kind of star-surrounded “tunnel” and felt an entity pulling her forward in that travel space but could not see the entity.

As they traveled on she saw a tiny dot of light and it grew larger and brighter as they approached. Finally, she saw the “entity” was her angel. She saw Jesus, Mary Joseph and countless angels.

To make a long story short she was overwhemed by the POWER of God and the Archangel Michael.

The interviewer on the DVD asked her to compare God’s POWER as she could perceive it as opposed to Satan’s “power.” The interviewer suggested a graphic like "Let us say God is the Empire State Building as a measure of His power…and Satan as another building alongside…how many stories high would Satan’s building be?..10, 20, 50 stories high?

The woman answered, "No Satan’s power next to God is not even the size of a “grain of sand.”

Please how may I purchace this or a copy of it please?
Thanks
Godbless

 

[saylo]

Please how may I purchace this or a copy of it please?
Thanks
Godbless

OK, here goes:

www.spiritdaily.com

1. On left side click: Book-Video Store
2. T op of page "Books and Videos
3. Sixth line from the top : "click here for: healing books here for “afterlife”. here for “Spiritual Warfar”

Click "afterlfe (in red)

1. Look for, " Her Life After Death" by Sondra Abrahams.

/SIZE]There you can choose either Video or DVD. Either are $19.95 + S&H

You vcam order by mail (form provided) or credit card.

Hope this does it…let me know how you make out.

Saylo

 

[distracted]

The woman answered, "No Satan’s power next to God is not even the size of a “grain of sand.”

Thank you so much for this story. I really needed to hear it because I have seen & been part of so much evil in my life (hatred, etc.) that i sometimes feel, and have felt often, with all my heart and mind, that Satan is more powerful than God… Yet when i see the good that has been brought from all the evil… that is when i realize how true it is that

***things aren’t always what they seem… ***
God bless…

 

[rinnie]

Thank you so much for this story. I really needed to hear it because I have seen & been part of so much evil in my life (hatred, etc.) that i sometimes feel, and have felt often, with all my heart and mind, that Satan is more powerful than God… Yet when i see the good that has been brought from all the evil… that is when i realize how true it is that

***things aren’t always what they seem… ***
God bless…

You just stick with God and keep praying you are on the right track, and your life is going to change so much… God has so much good in store for you, You will see! He changes tears of sorrow into Joy. I always say when the bad things happen to me in my life it just makes the good that much better. Hope, thats all you need.

 

[distracted]

You just stick with God and keep praying you are on the right track, and your life is going to change so much… God has so much good in store for you, .

Thank you so much for the uplifting words…

sometimes praying is all i want to do… and i feel “irresponsible” for not being more active… but while @ the Blessed Sacrament, it seems i can not pray enough… and/or be with Jesus enough… (I guess i have a lot of purification to go through )… Strange how different everything is at the Blessed Sacrament:hypno: …
Do you spend much time there?

 

[lynne06]

OP, realize how special you are, especially in the eyes of Jesus. He died for YOU. Never reject Him, and I pray that He helps you with all of your struggles. In St. Faustina’s diary we know that Jesus wants mankind to snuggle close to His merciful Heart. Let yourself do that, ok?

 

[distracted]

OP, realize how special you are, especially in the eyes of Jesus. He died for YOU. Never reject Him, and I pray that He helps you with all of your struggles. In St. Faustina’s diary we know that Jesus wants mankind to snuggle close to His merciful Heart. Let yourself do that, ok?

I felt very blessed reading Sr. Fuastina’s diary… (good advice)

 

[distracted]

In a nutshell, you reject Jesus because you choose to…

 

[antonyfatima]

We could not realise and judge the God’s plan, every prayer will be getting paid in the proper time, hence don’t get depression LORD JESUS CHRIST may help you and will shower his blessings soon. WE will pray for you.

I reject Jesus – I do not believe in him. Do I intellectually acknowledge he exists … yes. But do I believe in him … no.
These are my reasons;

1. I was a catholic for some 24 years – they were the emptiest, most miserable years of my life. Jesus was always far away, he was never there
2. To pray to Jesus and be heard, a massive amount of hurdles had to be jumped … pray properly, kneel properly, go to adoration, go to communion properly – and of course you never did these things properly because you are inherently bad / wrong before Jesus and you are dead to him in sin
3. All the novenas I ever prayed, never worked – Mary, Jesus and the Saints are deaf (and of course whenever I would say that to someone, they would turn around and say “I don’t know what you are talking about?” or “they always hear me, they don’t listen to you? Too bad”, shrug and who cares, or “you mustn’t be praying properly”, or “you might need to pray more” etc etc)
4. The gates of hell are always open – wide and open just waiting for you to slip up, whist heaven is always closed
5. The Eucharist is empty – I haven’t said this publicly before, but here I’ll say it – there is nothing there! There is no one and nothing there in the tabernacle. It is empty.
6. Jesus is a betrayer – he abandons you in your darkest hour and pretends you don’t exist and he can’t hear you because he is “testing you to see how much you love him”. In your darkest hour he performs his “loving” disappearing act
7. He provides false hope – “I am with you until the end of time” but I can’t stand you and abandon you in the darkest hour, “I came to give you life and life to the full” but the sorrow and injustice you suffer is MY doing, it is a cross I have specifically given to you to torment you with to test how much you love me
8. Those who are holy and special to Him are the vilest people I have ever known
9. He talks about love but these words are empty. The only reason I told him i love him at church was because if I didn’t I would automatically go to hell – his every command and every “kind” gesture must be paid for with human misery and damnation
10. Jesus is never on your side - he will side with anyone against you, he will choose anyone over you, he will seize any reason to leave you … and say he loves you while he does it

These are the core reasons, as you can see they are not so much theological “bible quote” reasons but reasons of experience. If anyone chooses to respond, I must admit Bible quotes mean nothing to me because the Bible speaks nice words that i believe are empty. Words are nice and all, but actions speak louder. Part of the reason I trusted in Jesus so much was those nice words, which I see now are empty.
Perhaps no one can really help me, since in my experience that first thing that will probably cross a Christians mind is whether I am possessed, or oppressed by demons or involved in the occult, or in one way or another bad and wrong before Jesus who can do no wrong.
How do you explain this Jesus I have experienced? He is not consistent with the Jesus others describe here … why the difference? How do you justify how Jesus treated me or am I (as always) completely to blame and bad and wrong?