Wives Needing Permission to Leave the Home?

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Wouldn’t you agree, though, that it’s generally not reasonable to require permission from his wife as long as she is out and about and not deviating greatly from her normal routine? If a husband doesn’t have enough trust in his wife while she’s going about her normal day that she’s not cheating on him, there are bigger problems there that are not going to be solved by her asking for permission every time she steps out the front door.
 
JulianN said:
If my husband’s “manhood” is dependent on giving me permission to get a cup of coffee with a friend, or go for a bike ride, he’d need some serious psychological help.
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😅 😂 🤣

Yeah, I’m currently getting a laugh picturing the face my late husband would make if he were alive and I showed him this thread.

These threads do have the positive benefit of making me stop and thank the Lord for putting such reasonable, level-headed, good men in my life, such as my husband and my father, who didn’t need such silly “confirmations” of their masculinity and value.
 
_AnnoDomini said:
Would it be permissible for not only wives, but also sons and daughters (who are old enough of course) to correct the husband/father when he is doing something wrong?
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This to me is actually a topic for a whole other thread, and we’ve had many such threads in the past.

The broad answer is, it depends on how old the son/ daughter is, and whether what’s going on is major/ is any of their business.

Minors generally should not be “correcting” a parent unless it’s something really major like the parent is committiing a crime or is about to.

Adult children sometimes need to set a boundary with a parent who is behaving in a bad way towards the adult child, his or her spouse, the grandkids, etc. Adult children might also be able to have respectful discussions with parents about some issue. Respect is important. So is observing the parents’ boundaries, like you don’t go snooping on Dad’s computer and then “correct” him for what you find.

We constantly get threads on here from people of various ages who have become upset that their parent doesn’t go to church or doesn’t condemn homosexuality etc and they try to “correct” their parent who then gets upset or ignores it. We usually tell them in those cases it’s better to love your parent, pray for them, and lead by settiing a good example.
 
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ahh I was referring to, like, when a father keeps comparing their child to his friends’ children, or when he keeps joking about something the child is insecure about.
 
Getting ridicule from people here is surprisingly easy to do.
Just mention some teaching from the timeless magisterium of the Church, or time-honored moral codes from catechetical texts which informed Catholics for centuries … and they’ll “bust a gut”.
Our Lady was the most modest, most obedient - she honored her husband St. Joseph.
The modern American Catholic woman …?
Well, I know enough young men who tell me many things. And I see them for myself right here, with my own eyes.
I’m grateful most of the problem is with boomers.
The younger women (some) are actually more open to the truth of things - in spite of heavy indoctrination. Maybe because of it, they know it’s a lot of lying, and they see the damage in family life. . . .
 
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Bill_B_NY said:
If she is out and about … wandering around, and that’s part of the routine. I’d call that a problem. Actions should be purposeful. Do I think a modern wife who is CEO of a Fortune 500 company is going to ask her husband for anything, except for what she wants when she wants it?
No, she’s not going to do that.
Most American wives are not capable of understanding the topic.
Of course. We know this.
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I asked you if it was reasonable for a husband to require permission from his wife as long as she is out and about and not deviating greatly from her normal routine? I didn’t say if she was wandering aimlessly without purpose. Who would do that? Who has time to do that on any kind of a regular basis?

I’m a homemaker. I leave the house for any number of reasons on a given day to shop for what’s needed, to take kids to school and pick them up, to pick up lunch, to check in on my parents, to volunteer at school or church, to take kids to medical appts. Is it reasonable for my husband to request an itinerary to approve of before I fulfill my normal duties? Do I need to text him if I stop for a coffee or pop into a store just to browse as I’m on my way from an appt? …provided it doesn’t make me late when he’s expecting me?
Bill_B_NY said:
Do I think a modern wife who is CEO of a Fortune 500 company is going to ask her husband for anything, except for what she wants when she wants it?
No, she’s not going to do that.
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How many wives are CEO’s of Fortune 500 companies? What does that have to do with your marriage and your wife?
Bill_B_NY said:
Most American wives are not capable of understanding the topic.
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I think many are capable of understanding the topic. Just not the way you are presenting it. You are presenting a marriage where the husband has a high level of distrust of his wife’s ability and love for him to be faithful. You are presenting marriage in which there is an irregular situation. Most are talking about how it works in marriage in general when there is a great deal of mutual trust, affection, care and concern from both parties.
 
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Elizabeth3 said:
Do I need to text him if I stop for a coffee or pop into a store just to browse as I’m on my way from an appt?
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You’re a liberated woman. You can do whatever you want. Why are you asking me?
You are presenting marriage in which there is an irregular situation. Most are talking about how it works in marriage in general when there is a great deal of mutual trust, affection, care and concern from both parties.
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As mentioned, the divorce rate in America is about 50%. So perhaps some may be interested in a different way of life. Clearly, you are not - so what difference does all of this make? As I said, some just want to ridicule others who seek to adhere to the traditional guidance that the Church provides - for reasons of greater fidelity to God, growth in virtue and a better life overall.

If you reject that, fine.

I wish you blessings and peace.
 
Bill_B_NY said:
Fr. Ripperger has done some good teaching on emasculation and you might find it helpful. Role of husband and wife. In his view, the vast majority of men do not have it right.
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Luckily, it’s just his view.
Bill_B_NY said:
Do I think a modern wife who is CEO of a Fortune 500 company is going to ask her husband for anything, except for what she wants when she wants it?
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As an executive, I’m saying that I’m not sure how this correlates to marriage. Are you suggesting that women should not be CEOs?

How does all this work out practically in your own marriage? Or, perhaps, is it possible you’re not married?
 
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Bill_B_NY said:
I didn’t intend it to be humorous so I don’t really appreciate the ridicule you’re giving me.
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This wasn’t directly specifically at you at all. He’s astonished at this whole thread—that anyone thinks wives are supposed to “obey” their husbands. We’re definitely equal partners. And to address your comment about young people, so are our daughter and son-in-law.

Whenever people on CAF insist the need for feminism is over, they can be directed here.

Also, it’s telling that you’ve not answered several questions about how this works in your own life.
 
I am late to this thread, and have only skimmed over mist responses, but I have a question:. It seems to me everyone at least tacitly assumes the claim about the teaching in the OP is true. Could someone please give me a reference to the Catechism of Trent where it says what us claimed?
 
Women going out only in necessity and with husband’s permission should be discussed in terms of principles and Revelation.
 
Bill_B_NY said:
You’re a liberated woman. You can do whatever you want. Why are you asking me?
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Ok, I’ll just take that deflection as a refusal to answer my question which I’ve presented twice.
Bill_B_NY said:
As mentioned, the divorce rate in America is about 50%.
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The divorce rate for Catholics generally hovers between 20-23% in various stats I’ve looked at. Should be much, much better but it’s not as high as the general rate. It’s fine if you want a more traditional marriage in which you strictly require a wife to get your permission to move about but it should be based on something other than your distrust of her ability to be faithful. That seems to be how you are presenting it. Like I said, if that’s the case, there are bigger problems there that are not going to be resolved with permission slips.

If you aren’t married, and have such a lowly opinion of American women, you will never be happy in marriage. You are unlikely to find a woman who will agree to live under such strict control being treated as a cheater when she hasn’t demonstrated any reason to be thought of as such. Perhaps there is a woman who has a soul so generous that in light of the insecurities you have about marriage and women in general, she will agree to such tight control for your peace of mind. But then who is protecting who here? It’s one thing to theorize about the state of marriage and American women but it’s another when you have a real, live person in front of you to treat them according to a general theory instead of who they are as a person.

Peace and blessings to you as well.
 
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Bill_B_NY said:
Well, if you’re a typical American guy with a typical American wife … I’ve got my answer.
Fr. Ripperger has done some good teaching on emasculation and you might find it helpful. Role of husband and wife. In his view, the vast majority of men do not have it right.
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Normally, I’d be pretty angry at the implication that my wife has loose morals, but you’re being so ridiculous I can’t really get mad.

And why am I not surprised to hear “well, Father Ripperger said…” Do I get a bingo yet?
 
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