Men - how do you feel about your wife seeing a male physician?

[Kit15]

As someone who has chronic illness and has dealt with doctors all her life I find the recent poster Homer’s assessments rather disturbing. There is nothing sexual or intimate about gynological exams. If someone can’t separate medical treatment from the beauty of intimacy between a husband and wife that is their personal problem. Honestly this really starting to sound like a bit of a perversive obsession. I don’t mean to be rude but it sounds like this particular poster finds vaginal exams sexually stimulating so he assumes all men must feel that way.

I never been intimate with anyone but my husband, and I can tell you their is nothing sexual, erotic or stimulating about such an exam. The whole idea that a pap smear is equated with intimacy is just gross.

Yeeeeah…believe me, I have no reason to think my doc gets something out of it. Judging by the way he talks, I think he likes delivering babies waaaaaay more than doing gyno exams.

My first exam was with a local female doctor and she treated me (a virgin at the time) so roughly I felt utterly violated afterwards. But that was who my mom saw so I thought this was how exams were supposed to be.

Now my SISTER on the other had…for years she pretty much swore off all male OB/GYNs because she didn’t want a man looking at her nothing. So I was in a state of absolute shock when she told me that she (also a virgin) went to see a man that was highly recommended to her for her first exam. He made her feel so comfortable and thoroughly explained everything that was going on that she actually hugged him. I figured he had to be pretty good for her to rave about him so much…being a guy and all. So I went to see him myself after I got married and I will be seeing him again.

In addition to not being as nearly a traumatic experience, he actually took interest in something that has been “wrong” with me for years and was appalled that my first doc just tossed it aside as a yeast infection when I could have actually had PCOS. I don’t…but at least he thought to test me for it.

Now my mom is looking into going to him too.

Plus any doc that congratulates me for using NFP/FAM because “it’s the healthiest way to go” gets a gold star.

My husband doesn’t care who I see as long as they are good at their job and I don’t come home traumatized…gender doesn’t enter into it.

 

[Homers]

As someone who has chronic illness and has dealt with doctors all her life I find the recent poster Homer’s assessments rather disturbing. There is nothing sexual or intimate about gynological exams. If someone can’t separate medical treatment from the beauty of intimacy between a husband and wife that is their personal problem. Honestly this really starting to sound like a bit of a perversive obsession. I don’t mean to be rude but it sounds like this particular poster finds vaginal exams sexually stimulating so he assumes all men must feel that way.

I never been intimate with anyone but my husband, and I can tell you their is nothing sexual, erotic or stimulating about such an exam. The whole idea that a pap smear is equated with intimacy is just gross.

Rayne89, thanks for your post. You say there is nothing “sexual or intimate” about gyn exams, right? Well why then have so many male doctors have “crossed the line”, and why have some male doctors lost self control during these exams. Per some of the previous links, some women have admitted to becoming stimulated and aroused during these types of exams. So, my question is why even take a chance when there’s time enough to make an appointment to see a female doctor for these type of exams.

 

[Homers]

Yeeeeah…believe me, I have no reason to think my doc gets something out of it. Judging by the way he talks, I think he likes delivering babies waaaaaay more than doing gyno exams.

My first exam was with a local female doctor and she treated me (a virgin at the time) so roughly I felt utterly violated afterwards. But that was who my mom saw so I thought this was how exams were supposed to be.

Now my SISTER on the other had…for years she pretty much swore off all male OB/GYNs because she didn’t want a man looking at her nothing. So I was in a state of absolute shock when she told me that she (also a virgin) went to see a man that was highly recommended to her for her first exam. He made her feel so comfortable and thoroughly explained everything that was going on that she actually hugged him. I figured he had to be pretty good for her to rave about him so much…being a guy and all. So I went to see him myself after I got married and I will be seeing him again.

In addition to not being as nearly a traumatic experience, he actually took interest in something that has been “wrong” with me for years and was appalled that my first doc just tossed it aside as a yeast infection when I could have actually had PCOS. I don’t…but at least he thought to test me for it.

Now my mom is looking into going to him too.

Plus any doc that congratulates me for using NFP/FAM because “it’s the healthiest way to go” gets a gold star.

My husband doesn’t care who I see as long as they are good at their job and I don’t come home traumatized…gender doesn’t enter into it.

How do you know he doesnt get something out of it? Even if a doctor sees 20 women a day this way, it still doesn’t make it right or proper.

 

[Homers]

If a woman wants another woman as her OB/GYN that’s her business. In this town she’d be out of luck, the only OB/GYN is a man as are the only surgeon and the only anesthetist, and that doesn’t look as though it’s going to change soon.

Get in the car and drive to the next town then!

 

[Homers]

Not to mention that equating medical care with immodesty is dangerous.

I’m sorry, but when I’m at the doctor’s office, I’m not secretly wondering whether my male doctor is immature and unprofessional enough to see the body as just that-the body. Likewise, I’m not wondering about my female doctor’s sexual orientation and wondering why she would even choose the profession if that’s what she had to do all day. That’s just sick and wrong on both counts. We can’t even have faith in our doctors wanting to, I don’t know, help people stay healthy?

All I care about is if the doctor is kind, professional, pro-life or at least understanding of my decisions to stay abstinent and not use contraceptives, covered by my health insurance (because you know what? I’m not made of money and while God provides, money helps!), and is competent. I care more about competence than I ever could about chromosomes.

Well if you want to take chances in “non-emergent” situations, that’s up to you. Plus, it still doesn’t make it proper.

 

[gam3rchic]

Well if you want to take chances in “non-emergent” situations, that’s up to you. Plus, it still doesn’t make it proper.

OMG, you OBVIOUSLY don’t work in the medical field LOL! Proper??? Are you kidding me? This is almost laughable!!

Every day in the emergency room I insert foleys in male penises and male nurses will insert them into female urethras. So what? What we do as MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS is much different then those stories will have you believe.

Sure there are a couple of sick doctors out there, but out of the hundreds of thousands of OB/GYNs out there the percentage is quite small.

Also, to the women who get stimulated during a pelvic exam, they obviously have issues. It would be the same as a man getting stimulated during a prostate exam. I’m sure there are a couple people out there, but the VAST majority of people will certainly not be!!!

Also, human gentilia isn’t like something that is absolutely forbidden to be seen by the opposite gender. I guarantee you, as medical professionals, we DO NOT get any sexual joy from looking at people’s genitalia. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

You go ahead and believe what you want, but I’m telling you know, you are way over reacting to this. I’m trying to tell you from a medical professionals point of view that you are worrying over nothing.

And those stories that you read about on the internet??? Please, don’t believe everything you read. Don’t be sucked into the “if it’s on the internet, it must be true” idea of thinking. There have been several medical professionals, along with me, who chimed in on this and have said it’s just a job, not sexual in the least.

 

[Phemie]

Get in the car and drive to the next town then!

None in the next town either and I’m not driving 800 miles just to avoid seeing a male gynecologist.

 

[rayne89]

Rayne89, thanks for your post. You say there is nothing “sexual or intimate” about gyn exams, right? Well why then have so many male doctors have “crossed the line”, and why have some male doctors lost self control during these exams. Per some of the previous links, some women have admitted to becoming stimulated and aroused during these types of exams. So, my question is why even take a chance when there’s time enough to make an appointment to see a female doctor for these type of exams.

If I lived my life driven by fear of a few perverts I’d never leave the house. All the people I’ve known who’ve been sexually abused (and unfortunately I know several), everyone has been abused by a family member. I know of none that were abused by doctors.There are not “so many” abusers among gynocologists compared to the many male gynocologists are not perverted and I really hate exaggeration it ruins credibility. There isn’t anything sexual or intimate about a gynological examine. If a man is “losing control” there is something very wrong with him. There’s nothing sexual about little girls either but far more little girls are abused sexually than adult women at the doctor’s office.

I had a female ob/gyn when I was pregnant and she was rude, dismissive and condescending. By chance I saw one of her associates when she went on vacation and he was kind, listened to my questions, and didn’t make me feel like I wasting his time by asking things as a first time mom. I ended up staying with him and he delivered our daughter.

If you’ve made this decision fine, why are pushing your views on others? And why are you , as a married man, spending time reading about womens stories of being sexually stimulated? Something is very off here and its not my choice in doctors.

I’m done with this ridiculous conversation.

 

[Homers]

OMG, you OBVIOUSLY don’t work in the medical field LOL! Proper??? Are you kidding me? This is almost laughable!!

Every day in the emergency room I insert foleys in male penises and male nurses will insert them into female urethras. So what? What we do as MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS is much different then those stories will have you believe.

Sure there are a couple of sick doctors out there, but out of the hundreds of thousands of OB/GYNs out there the percentage is quite small.

Also, to the women who get stimulated during a pelvic exam, they obviously have issues. It would be the same as a man getting stimulated during a prostate exam. I’m sure there are a couple people out there, but the VAST majority of people will certainly not be!!!

Also, human gentilia isn’t like something that is absolutely forbidden to be seen by the opposite gender. I guarantee you, as medical professionals, we DO NOT get any sexual joy from looking at people’s genitalia. PERIOD. END OF STORY.

You go ahead and believe what you want, but I’m telling you know, you are way over reacting to this. I’m trying to tell you from a medical professionals point of view that you are worrying over nothing.

And those stories that you read about on the internet??? Please, don’t believe everything you read. Don’t be sucked into the “if it’s on the internet, it must be true” idea of thinking. There have been several medical professionals, along with me, who chimed in on this and have said it’s just a job, not sexual in the least.

Gam…Thanks for weighing in on this topic. I appreciated your response, as you indicated that you work in the medical field. You stated that medical professionals “DO NOT” get any sexual joy from looking at people’s genitalia. Well, like I’ve said here before, why then have so many male doctors crossed the line? You also stated that you work in an “emergency room”, which I view is different from making an appointment to for an elective exam or procedure. If there’s time to make an appointment, then there’s time to condsider one’s modesty. Male nurses should never be inserting foley’s into female patients period, and if it must be done, then a female nurse or another woman should be present.

 

[Homers]

If I lived my life driven by fear of a few perverts I’d never leave the house. All the people I’ve known who’ve been sexually abused (and unfortunately I know several), everyone has been abused by a family member. I know of none that were abused by doctors.There are not “so many” abusers among gynocologists compared to the many male gynocologists are not perverted and I really hate exaggeration it ruins credibility. There isn’t anything sexual or intimate about a gynological examine. If a man is “losing control” there is something very wrong with him. There’s nothing sexual about little girls either but far more little girls are abused sexually than adult women at the doctor’s office.

I had a female ob/gyn when I was pregnant and she was rude, dismissive and condescending. By chance I saw one of her associates when she went on vacation and he was kind, listened to my questions, and didn’t make me feel like I wasting his time by asking things as a first time mom. I ended up staying with him and he delivered our daughter.

If you’ve made this decision fine, why are pushing your views on others? And why are you , as a married man, spending time reading about womens stories of being sexually stimulated? Something is very off here and its not my choice in doctors.

I’m done with this ridiculous conversation.

Again, to all you ladies out there who think that the gyn exam is simply clinical, here is a link to a student doctor website, where medical doctors are discussing their thoughts about women, and also their thoughts when giving the exam.

Required Reading:
forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=604811

 

[lizaanne]

Well, like I’ve said here before, why then have so many male doctors crossed the line?

Can we have some hard statistics on this please? Nothing from a blog, or someone’s personal form or web page. Solid scientific data please. Otherwise this is nothing more than just your opinion.

Male nurses should never be inserting foley’s into female patients period, and if it must be done, then a female nurse or another woman should be present.

What is this - 1901 Victorian America?

When a patient needs care - and I don’t care what type or how emergent it is, they are given care. Not put on a waiting list until the appropriate gender care giver happens to be available.

Your views on this topic are not healthy, and I suspect they may even jeopardize your wife’s or any possible daughter’s health in the future by instilling in them such paranoid ideas of how medical care is given and received for women.

~Liza

 

[lizaanne]

Again, to all you ladies out there who think that the gyn exam is simply clinical, here is a link to a student doctor website, where medical doctors are discussing their thoughts about women, and also their thoughts when giving the exam.

Required Reading:
forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=604811

You have posted this repeatedly, and no one here is accepting this as a valid source of data for your argument.

Try again.

~Liza

 

[lizaanne]

Again, to all you ladies out there who think that the gyn exam is simply clinical, here is a link to a student doctor website, where medical doctors are discussing their thoughts about women, and also their thoughts when giving the exam.

Required Reading:
forums.studentdoctor.net/showthread.php?t=604811

Another thought, after going out and reading this - WHAT ARE YOU doing reading such smut? Homers, you are really starting to make me wonder…

~Liza

 

[Homers]

Can we have some hard statistics on this please? Nothing from a blog, or someone’s personal form or web page. Solid scientific data please. Otherwise this is nothing more than just your opinion.

What is this - 1901 Victorian America?

When a patient needs care - and I don’t care what type or how emergent it is, they are given care. Not put on a waiting list until the appropriate gender care giver happens to be available.

Your views on this topic are not healthy, and I suspect they may even jeopardize your wife’s or any possible daughter’s health in the future by instilling in them such paranoid ideas of how medical care is given and received for women.

~Liza

Liza…Hmmm…, well I have followed most of your previous posts. As far as the exact statistics regarding the number of male doctors that have “crossed the line”, I am sure that no one will ever have that exact figure. Even within this very thread, you had even provided (3) links involving (3) different male dentist (and assistant) who had crossed the line. Is this 1901, no, but I tell you what, I would much rather have the values from that era. I don’t consider my views on this topic to be unhealthy (suprise), as my wife, plus based upon the numerous websites out there, a lot of people feel the same way I do. I like to think that I represent the “slient majority.”

 

[AHapka]

Get in the car and drive to the next town then!

Why don’t you pay for her gas and the money she will lose taking off of work?

If you were really serious about your argument, you’d make the offer.

 

[Homers]

Another thought, after going out and reading this - WHAT ARE YOU doing reading such smut? Homers, you are really starting to make me wonder…

~Liza

I am trying to get ALL women to open their eyes, and realize that the GYN exam is NOT always exactly clinical. *I didn’t create the above link and website, so don’t blame me. It is really interesting to see how some male doctors and medical students think during these exams…isn’t it?

 

[AHapka]

How do you know he doesnt get something out of it? Even if a doctor sees 20 women a day this way, it still doesn’t make it right or proper.

So who in your family/friends was abused by a male doctor? I am truly sorry for what your family member/friend or you went through.

I would suggest that you seek professional counseling. One does not have the type of attitude and obsession you have without there being something in your past or the past of someone you love.

 

[lizaanne]

I am trying to get ALL women to open their eyes, and realize that the GYN exam is NOT always exactly clinical. *I didn’t create the above link and website, so don’t blame me. It is really interesting to see how some male doctors and medical students think during these exams…isn’t it?

No - I don’t find it interesting to read such smut and garbage. I already know there are sickos in the world, I don’t need to read their deranged thoughts to verify that. One forum of idiots does not an epidemic make.

If you are so sensitive about this topic, why are you reading such sites that use such graphic language and descriptive imagery of examining women’s genitals? Does your wife know you are “educating” yourself in this manner? How does she feel about that? I personally would have more of an issue with my husband reading such garbage than him going to a female doctor for an examination.

~Liza

 

[Gwyn]

Would not bother me …

But DH would never go to a female Dr.

 

[Homers]

You have posted this repeatedly, and no one here is accepting this as a valid source of data for your argument.

Try again.

~Liza

Why not? It is just as valid and crediable as any of the links you’ve provided. Being the OP for this thread you should try to be unbias.