Would this be considered "shacking up?"

[LSK]

You all bring up excellent points that I have pondered. I would like it to be special when we finally live together as a married couple. As for the scandal, on one hand I care what others think, and on the other I don’t. Sharing a bedroom would be out of the question. We live in an area where shacking up is normal and people already think we’re crazy because we DON’T. Backward, eh? And the poster who said it might take 4 months to find the right house, good point.

What about this…say I decide to wait, when would it be appropriate to move out of my apartment and into our house? A week before, a month before? Where would I stay? My parents live too far down in Southern MD, approx 60 miles away from work. I could stay with a friend or my brother I suppose…

You answered your question…the appropriate time to move into the home would be the night of your wedding.

I wanted to add one thing to the idea of ‘caring about what other people think’ idea. As Catholics we recognize that we belong to the Body of Christ. What each member does affects all the members. When I sin I hurt the Body of Christ. What this teaches me is that I really, truly matter. I am not just some woman off on my own, in charge of my own life, living the way I want to live and making my own choices. I am a member of the Body of CHRIST and everything I do matters.

While one can suffer from scrupples (spelling? I am such a lousy speller) and must be aware of that, I see this teaching as tremendously uplifting. How can I suffer from low self-esteem if I keep in mind that, as a member of the Body of Christ, I matter in this world?

God be with you!

 

[LSK]

I don’t think that term ‘shacking up’ is very nice. Two folks living together in peace and harmony, not abusing each other or their pets and most of all, sharing expenses in this money hungry society just doesn’t worry me.
There are many on this site who seem to think that their views are the only ones that count, or that they can claim to be more Catholic than me because I think that they’re wrong.

Your old boss was a self righteous Nosy Parker, too?

It has been my experience that when faithful Catholics point out teachings to those who are disturbed by those teachings we are told me are ‘claiming to be more Catholic’ than others. More Catholic? hardly…you are either a Catholic or you are not…more faithful to the teachings of Rome? Sure! There is always someone somewhere who is a more Faithful, Obedient Daughter of the Holy Mother Church than me!

 

[anamchara]

I don’t think that term ‘shacking up’ is very nice. Two folks living together in peace and harmony, not abusing each other or their pets and most of all, sharing expenses in this money hungry society just doesn’t worry me.
There are many on this site who seem to think that their views are the only ones that count, or that they can claim to be more Catholic than me because I think that they’re wrong.

Your old boss was a self righteous Nosy Parker, too?

I have to wonder just how many Catholics really live chaste lives before their wedding day. Or those who didn’t, would they admit it in this forum? Probably not It’s amazing when I do meet a Catholic online who is seriously waiting until after the wedding. I didn’t shake up before my wedding but we were not living chaste lives, I wasn’t Catholic though…how’s that for an excuse Ok wait…that’s shacking not shaking…my puppy is eating candels again, good Lord!

 

[LSK]

I have to wonder just how many Catholics really live chaste lives before their wedding day. Or those who didn’t, would they admit it in this forum? Probably not It’s amazing when I do meet a Catholic online who is seriously waiting until after the wedding. I didn’t shake up before my wedding but we were not living chaste lives, I wasn’t Catholic though…how’s that for an excuse Ok wait…that’s shacking not shaking…my puppy is eating candels again, good Lord!

I did not live a chaste life for many years. I also would get very defensive whenever someone would point that out to me. How DARE you! I bet YOU are perfect EITHER! Guess what? My sinful behavior did not change the Truth of Catholic Teaching…as Father Corapi says, Truth is Truth and it doesn’t matter if you believe it or you practice it…Truth is Truth.

 

[Karianne]

It has been my experience that when faithful Catholics point out teachings to those who are disturbed by those teachings we are told me are ‘claiming to be more Catholic’ than others. More Catholic? hardly…you are either a Catholic or you are not…more faithful to the teachings of Rome? Sure! There is always someone somewhere who is a more Faithful, Obedient Daughter of the Holy Mother Church than me!

Well, just try harder then.

 

[LSK]

Well, just try harder then.

that I do, me darlin’ - that’s why I call myself a practicing Catholic…I keep practicing, practicing practicing!

 

[StratusRose]

You answered your question…the appropriate time to move into the home would be the night of your wedding.

I wanted to add one thing to the idea of ‘caring about what other people think’ idea. As Catholics we recognize that we belong to the Body of Christ. What each member does affects all the members. When I sin I hurt the Body of Christ. What this teaches me is that I really, truly matter. I am not just some woman off on my own, in charge of my own life, living the way I want to live and making my own choices. I am a member of the Body of CHRIST and everything I do matters.

While one can suffer from scrupples (spelling? I am such a lousy speller) and must be aware of that, I see this teaching as tremendously uplifting. How can I suffer from low self-esteem if I keep in mind that, as a member of the Body of Christ, I matter in this world?

God be with you!

That’s the part that I do realize and care about. The other part I don’t care about are busybodies who have nothing else better to do than to gossip about their neighbors.

 

[LSK]

That’s the part that I do realize and care about. The other part I don’t care about are busybodies who have nothing else better to do than to gossip about their neighbors.

Then don’t let them trouble you, SR…just keep thinking about how much you matter and how much your adherence to Truth adds to the lives of the rest of us. You and your fiancee are good examples, and I hope you will keep me and mine in your prayers!

 

[anamchara]

Ok let me try this again. Congrats to the OP for your upcoming wedding! your awesome for being such a good Catholic.

 

[jmcrae]

There are many on this site who seem to think that their views are the only ones that count, or that they can claim to be more Catholic than me because I think that they’re wrong.

And what makes your opinion so much better than 2,000 years of Christian teaching and experience?

Why can’t people just learn from the 2,000 years of experience of the Church? After all, it’s the Church that has to pick up the mess after it all goes wrong - you’d think the Church would know what causes good marriages, and what causes bad marriages, since they’re the ones who’ve been dealing with the aftermath of the bad ones, all these 2,000 years.

 

[Karianne]

I have to wonder just how many Catholics really live chaste lives before their wedding day. Or those who didn’t, would they admit it in this forum? Probably not It’s amazing when I do meet a Catholic online who is seriously waiting until after the wedding. I didn’t shake up before my wedding but we were not living chaste lives, I wasn’t Catholic though…how’s that for an excuse Ok wait…that’s shacking not shaking…my puppy is eating candels again, good Lord!

(I want to get a puppy)

My guess would be about ten percent, maybe more after the AIDS crisis.

It’s interesting how terribly sinful people claim that they were prior to coming back to the Church. I always hear these stories about how they fornicated with multiple partners, abused their bodies with drugs and alchohol, disrespected their parents, they’re never just run of the mill sinners, it’s always something really dramatic.

Personally, I never believe these conversion stories, they’ve just exchanged one set of theatrics for another that’s less damaging to their bodies.

I think that the Church needs to do something to bring back the kids who are in their twenties and thirties and not married.

Otherwise, we’ll lose them to the Protestant Churches who want their patronage.

 

[E.E.N.S]

As for the scandal, on one hand I care what others think, and on the other I don’t.

Causing scandal is considered by the Church a sin, and often times a very serious sin.

Causing scandal should not be taken lightly.

 

[Karianne]

And what makes your opinion so much better than 2,000 years of Christian teaching and experience?

Why can’t people just learn from the 2,000 years of experience of the Church? After all, it’s the Church that has to pick up the mess after it all goes wrong - you’d think the Church would know what causes good marriages, and what causes bad marriages, since they’re the ones who’ve been dealing with the aftermath of the bad ones, all these 2,000 years.

Where did I say my opinion was better than the church’s opinion?

I just disagree with the PEOPLE who come to this site who then state THEIR opinion as though it’s the one that the Pope holds.

My opinion is not better than theirs, but it’s mine.

All of society has to deal with the consequences of bad marriages, not just the Church. And since so many Catholics get divorced it would seem that they’re not dealing with it as well as they should. Instead of worrying about the Gays getting married the Church needs to start worrying about how to keep heterosexuals married, especially when children are involved.

 

[StratusRose]

Causing scandal is considered by the Church a sin, and often times a very serious sin.

Causing scandal should not be taken lightly.

See post #85

 

[E.E.N.S]

It’s interesting how terribly sinful people claim that they were prior to coming back to the Church. I always hear these stories about how they fornicated with multiple partners, abused their bodies with drugs and alchohol, disrespected their parents, they’re never just run of the mill sinners, it’s always something really dramatic.

Personally, I never believe these conversion stories, they’ve just exchanged one set of theatrics for another that’s less damaging to their bodies.

I often DO believe them, as I myself went through a similar conversion after becoming Catholic almost 6 years ago.

 

[Karianne]

that I do, me darlin’ - that’s why I call myself a practicing Catholic…I keep practicing, practicing practicing!

I’m sure that you’re just fine.
I’ll pray for you and you pray for me, okay?

 

[StratusRose]

Where did I say my opinion was better than the church’s opinion?

I just disagree with the PEOPLE who come to this site who then state THEIR opinion as though it’s the one that the Pope holds.

My opinion is not better than theirs, but it’s mine.

All of society has to deal with the consequences of bad marriages, not just the Church. And since so many Catholics get divorced it would seem that they’re not dealing with it as well as they should. Instead of worrying about the Gays getting married the Church needs to start worrying about how to keep heterosexuals married, especially when children are involved.

What makes you think they don’t? That’s why the church has Marriage Encounter and Retrouvaille. And that’s just off the top of my head. There are many, many programs for marriages and families in trouble.

 

[E.E.N.S]

See post #85

I just read it. I touched on it from a slightly different approach, but all three are related and cannot be seperated.

I myself had to be more cautious with many of the things I was doing because of the scandal the could have caused, and after reading on the importance of avoiding scandal because of its gravity I have since been more prudent to avoid it at all costs.

 

[anamchara]

(I want to get a puppy)

My guess would be about ten percent, maybe more after the AIDS crisis.

It’s interesting how terribly sinful people claim that they were prior to coming back to the Church. I always hear these stories about how they fornicated with multiple partners, abused their bodies with drugs and alchohol, disrespected their parents, they’re never just run of the mill sinners, it’s always something really dramatic.

Personally, I never believe these conversion stories, they’ve just exchanged one set of theatrics for another that’s less damaging to their bodies.

I think that the Church needs to do something to bring back the kids who are in their twenties and thirties and not married.

Otherwise, we’ll lose them to the Protestant Churches who want their patronage.

I’m horrible with numbers so I have no clue if your 10% is right or not…I do remember reading somewhere the % of Catholic women who actually practice artifical birth control. I was fairly blown away but not surprised. I know what your saying about the drama stories, there does appear to be many of them. I grew up in the Protestant church actually so shacking up or sex before marriage was frowned upon in my world as well. I fell inlove with my husband things happen, we got married and now I’m not sinner anymore and haven’t been for 20yrs! Life is good.

I do have to say though…married relations are MUCH better than when your single! God does know what is best for us

If I had to do it over again…God forbid! I would live a chaste life until after the wedding. I’d try darn hard anyway!!

 

[Karianne]

What makes you think they don’t? That’s why the church has Marriage Encounter and Retrouvaille. And that’s just off the top of my head. There are many, many programs for marriages and families in trouble.

Just on this site alone you’ll find many divorced Catholics. There may be programs but they’re not working.